Jaya Has No Blog

Kiss This Thing Goodbye

2008-05-04T01:56:00.002-04:00

This has been a long time coming. It's been about a month and a half since my last post, and I think it's because I have honestly run out of things to say.

This is not to say I'm not writing. I have an internship at EW magazine, and actually find plenty to write about on a daily basis. It's more that for the first time in a while I don't feel like writing about my life. I feel like living it. It's really easy to hide behind a computer and tell all the anonymous people who read this what I want to do, and what I wish could happen, or what I'm happy about. But in the end for the past few months I've actually been doing those things. Why go back? Writing about what I've done is a good way to keep track of it, but I'd really rather just remember it on my own.

That said, this has been great. I think it's fitting that I end this at the end of college, as I started it the summer before I started. Things have changed. The people I care about, the things I'm passionate about, my clothes, personality, outlook. But overall I can say I'm a happier person than when I started four years ago. So let's just hope this is an upward trend.

So long and thanks for reading.

Now Playing: "The Good Life" by Kanye West

"Jaya, you only ate 3 courses? ANOREXIC!"

2008-03-24T16:22:00.002-04:00

The cruise was awesome. I'm tan and relaxed and happy now. Even sleeping in a closet with 3 other people didn't frustrate me, and neither did the seasickness on the first day. I got day of the dead art, good mexican food, margaritas, and overall it was everything I wanted. I came back to a huge easter feast and lots of wine, so that didn't hurt either.

Unfortunately last night the good luck ended when our house flooded because of a busted sink pipe, and all our furniture is in the middle of the living room. Nothing was damaged, but damn, not a fun way to go home.

Now my arms hurt because Sansone is a meanie of a personal trainer, but I still have awesome breakfast in my stomach and soon there will be an egg hunt involving 120 plastic eggs filled with jello shots. I love college.

Now Playing: Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me - NPR podcast

"Wanna drive me to the hospital?"

2008-03-13T19:59:00.003-04:00

I hate Tulane student health and I hate pinkeye.

I, however, love karaoke until 3am. I love everyone dancing on the tables to Charlie Daniels. I love dancing with Sansone to "Beyond the Sea" because we're an old married couple. I love making his ROTC friends sing backstreet boys. I love our whole table singing "Summer Lovin'." I love being flirted with. And now I love classes being done and dressing up like Pris from Bladerunner just because I can.

And I love feeling this happy and this loved. This year just gets better and better.

Now Playing: "The Way I Are" by Timbaland

Final stretch to spring break

2008-03-10T11:33:00.002-04:00

This past weekend I saw two concerts, discovered two more amazing bands, renewed my love for dancing/moshing, got a fat lip and my fair share of bruises, and wound up staying sick because of my lack of judgment. But I don't care. This was all ridiculously fun. I've been kind of an old lady recently, staying in and nursing one beer while knitting and watching movies, but I forgot how amazing the energy at a good show is. Flogging Molly was the best I'd ever seen them, and They Might Be Giants were more ridiculous and awesome than I could have predicted.

This week I just have to get through three tests before spring break and everything that entails. And I really can't wait. I'm sure this will do nothing for my lack of getting into the academic mode still (even up until midterms), but this semester has just been so tedious. I hate saying that because I really do love college, and a huge part of me doesn't want to go. I got my cap and gown last week, and I have a newcomb ring, and I bought graduation announcements and my Aunt wants to take me and my friends out to a fancy dinner. It just all seems so surreal. Since when am I old enough to graduate college? Since when am I responsible enough to take care of myself, or independent enough to go planning working at hostels in Australia without anyone elses input? I'm glad though, because that pit in my heart over leaving my friends has almost gone away. There may be some tears at graduation, but I'm not scared of losing anyone anymore. Because it just won't happen.

Man, my lip looks totally badass.

Now Playing: "Mud" by The Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band

Young professional

2008-03-01T16:36:00.001-05:00

Hey, I'm published again!

here

and here

I win.

Now Playing: "M79" by Vampire Weekend

"Single girl is leaving the bar, so make sure to get her number before she goes!"

2008-02-27T11:45:00.004-05:00

Karaoke night at the Buddha Belly is officially my favorite night ever. Especially when I am refered to as "Single Girl" because I am the only one in the bar, and Karfunkle tries to shout out my phone number to everyone.

This morning I got up way too early to go meet my editor to get more CDs to review and a book on Lionel Hampton. While on the streetcar I was listening to This American Life. The episode was about testosterone, and how it affects people. There was a really amusing section about a man who used to be a woman, and the changes that happened to him when he started getting testosterone injections. How this once butch feminist was all of a sudden being called a misogynist by other women. But the really interesting part, and the part that kind of freaked me out, was when they interviewed a man who, due to some disease, went for four months without any testosterone in his body. He said he lost all sense of desire. And not just sexual desire, but ambition or envy or judgment. He would walk down the street just objectively observing everything as is, and his objective conclusion was that everything is beautiful.

This ties into this book I've been reading about a woman who goes through a nasty divorce, even nastier affair, and decides to travel for a year. Four months of that year are spent in an Ashram in India with her Guru and meditating and writing descriptions of her out of body experiences and becoming part of God. I have approached this with more than my fair share of skepticism. My knee jerk reaction is that I don't need no stinkin' God to tell me what's real and what's good and make me realize that life is great and I can achieve bliss. I can do that on my own. I have. But in one of her out of body experiences she says she fell out of it as soon as she started thinking that she wanted to be there. The mere vocalization of "I want" or "I don't want" kept her from being in a possible divine presence. So if testosterone fuels desire, and we take that away, does that mean we're closer to God? I can't tell if this connection makes me entertain the idea of God more or less. Maybe in this interpretation, God is just a chemical imbalance. Or testosterone is something we can learn to control, and if we can control the chemicals in our body that's a pretty powerful and amazing thing. Or it's the chemical God or Gods or whatever has put in our body to keep us from thinking like a divinity, and therefore challenging its power.

I actually kind of like the idea that God is a chemical imbalance. "Excuse me, my God is acting up, I need a refill of my anti-God pills."

Now Playing: "Rosa" by Lamarque Street

Who spiked my beer with acid?

2008-02-23T13:32:00.003-05:00

I had this dream last night where I woke up to Stacey making chocolate banana muffins. Except they were tiny, and we kept dropping them. But then she told me to use the batter to make pancakes, only the pancakes kept coming out in long strips instead of turning into circles. And she was yelling "YOU'RE MAKING POBLANOS!" at the top of her lungs. Anyway, a few snakes came in, one of which was really Jesus, and one walked in on me changing in my room and looked really embarassed. So I went into the living room and the Jesus snake was getting married, and I couldn't step anywhere because all the bugs were invited. And there were mobsters nextdoor trying to find someone who didn't live there anymore, and this guy in leather pants who said he was my brother in a past life came over, and then I found him outside in a leather chair, and the chair moved towards me and I fell on top of him and we started making out (he said it was somehow a prophecy that we would) until he said "Oh look, a perfect dawn" and it started to rain warm summer rain. We ran out of Aron to the Reily quad, and ran into Sarah along the way, until it rained so much the field turned into mud, and we got sucked into the mud and came out on the other side in 1770 B.C. as cartoon characters.

What. The. Fuck?

Now Playing: "Talk of the Nation" podcast (SCIENCE FRIDAY!)

Remember that time?

2008-02-21T11:36:00.002-05:00

Hey, remember that time I left Sarah's house, and within 30 seconds had injured myself? Like, how I walked back into my apartment where Kendall and Mary and Jim (who I was actually meeting for the first time) were watching O Brother, Where Art Thou? and I opened the kitchen cabinet and a bunch of pint glasses got pushed off the microwave and shattered on the ground? And then I thought a heavy piece had just hit me on the ankle but it turns out a piece of broken glass cut through my pants and I had this really deep gash and was bleeding everywhere? And Jim had to clean up the kitchen and Kendall had to run upstairs to Sarah's apartment to get bandages and Sarah was baffled cause I had just left? And how Jim called his friend who worked for TEMS who said I didn't really need stitches but might wanna think about it cause it was really deep? And I had to sleep with my leg propped up and this morning it hurts more than it did last night and I can't walk?

Yeah, that was pretty fucking crazy.

Now Playing: "I'm a Cuckoo" by Belle & Sebastian

Dreaming

2008-02-20T11:58:00.003-05:00

Last night I watched L'Auberge Espagnole while knitting, and it reminded me of all the best parts of Italy. I got an itch to stay in a hostel again. To meet people from different countries and to become best friends for two to three days at a time. To feel like a minority for the first time ever. To drop everything I know and go somewhere I'm not used to because I don't care. After 17 years of school I want to not think for a while. I don't want to worry about my stance regarding political theory or if my interpretation of Chaucer is valid. I'll have time later to have deadlines. For now, I'm ready to do nothing.

I woke up this morning and thought it was summer. Probably because it was the first day I hadn't been woken up by the mourning dove, but by some bird with a much happier and brighter song. My dreams have become a lot more vivid this semester. I dreamed I went to a Tulane hockey game, while getting a text message from a friend to meet him at a strip club. Of course, at the strip club I run into a few of my professors. I woke up convinced that I was sleeping next to a bartender. Another dream involved waking up at 4am thinking Stacey had come into my room and told me some friends from home were here to visit me. Again, I woke up convinced they were going to be on the couch when I walked into the living room. Why am I trying to kick myself.

Also, why do neither of the democratic candidates have anything about their stances on music and arts in public education on their websites? At this point, I think Huckabee is the only one who says anything about that, which is just depressing.

Now Playing: "Talk of the Nation" NPR Podcast

P.S.- For the past few days I've noticed I actively avoid stepping on cracks in the street, and I've never really been a superstitious person. But walking home from work the other day I would run into the street if there were cracks on the sidewalk. Missing them took on this great importance that I'm still trying to figure out...

P.P.S.- Don't you hate it when people in books describe you and your fears better than you could ever put into words?

Fuckin' Chaucer

2008-02-14T14:05:00.003-05:00

So I was really bitter this morning cause all these girls were complaining about how their boyfriends didn't give them good enough gifts. And how it was all Chaucer's fault that we associate romance with Valentine's day. And we went out to dinner last night in a distinctly anti-Valentine's mood to have fondue and we were awesome and didn't care about all the couples around us and stuff like that. And I was all ready to be bitter all day long and get drunk and celebrate the fact that no one would ever send me flowers.

But then I got sent a dozen roses. And Jason in the mailroom came out and stuffed my pockets full of chocolate as I was holding the box. And...I got roses? What?

Now Playing: "Sassafras Roots" by Green Day

"How come every time I leave the house I get covered in beads?"

2008-02-08T12:57:00.000-05:00

Mardi gras came and went so quickly, but it was probably the best one I've had. Friday I got the too drunk to function out of the way, Saturday Matt came in a blur of beads, Bourbon St. and strip clubs. Sunday was Bacchus with almost everyone that matters to me down here showing up at some point. Monday and Tuesday were more relaxed, sitting on the parade route, catching Jello Shots and champagne flutes, going to concerts, nearly getting into fights, eating good food and generally enjoying my friends and life in general. And then I had one day of classes, two of which I skipped because I was sick, and now I don't have classes for four days. I'm never going to get into school mode ever again.

I've been looking up those farms in Australia and New Zealand. There's a vineyard in New Zealand that I'd love to work on, but it seems like most of these places favor short term stays. I guess I could just travel up New Zealand for a couple months then go to Australia and travel around there, staying at different places for a few weeks at a time until I run out of cash and fly home. I'm really excited. For the first time I feel like I'm ready to do this. I'm not as scared of losing everyone as I was before, because for the first time I feel like the people who really care are going to stick around. That's not to say that there aren't those I'm worried about, but I feel like if they don't really care then it's better in the long run anyway. I'll do my part to keep in touch, but I'm at the point that if my efforts aren't reciprocated then it hurts but I shouldn't give a shit. It's a pretty freeing feeling.

Also, one of the guys I am supposed to interview called me at 8am. He is in a punk rock band. What punk rocker is up at 8am? Everything I thought I knew is being brought into question because of this.

Now Playing: "The Sunnyside of the Street" by The Pogues

Career Opportunities

2008-01-29T21:52:00.000-05:00

So because of my music business class, I am now writing reviews for Offbeat magazine. I emailed the associate editor after he spoke to my class, he asked me to send him clips, I did, and now I'm listening to one of the two albums he assigned me to review.

I've had this conversation with a few people. It's strange, because I feel like I'm a very lucky person. I get these opportunities, and for some reason people think I'm great. At Virgin Records I did the bare minimum of what they asked, and yet my cousin Sam tells me a lot of people there said I was one of the best interns they had. In the Political Science department I do almost nothing but my homework or talk to my friends online, and yet if I xerox something when a professor asks me to they think I've done an amazing job. And here, where it actually matters for my career, all I did was send in a couple clips after the editor asked me to, and all of a sudden he says I can write and we should meet up to find me work. I was just looking for advice, and I wound up getting $30 a review.

So have the worlds standards gone down or are mine just higher than everyone elses? I mean, I don't slack off (that much), but I never go the "above and beyond" that everyone told me I needed to do to get ahead. Yet this is my 2nd job at a legitimate publication. I just refuse to believe I'm that good.

Also, why do the weirdest things come back to haunt me in the weirdest ways?

Now Playing: "Aretha, Sing One For Me" by Cat Power

Revelations

2008-01-26T13:47:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a ridiculous adventure, but I've learned a few things.

I can drive for 4 hours, in the rain and not kill anyone, and actually do a pretty decent job.
I-10 is really boring.
There needs to be more Chumbawumba in my life.
It's not really fisting unless you get that 5th joint up there.
What do soybeans and vibrators have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
I worry a lot. Or really, I'll have long periods of not worrying about anything, and then some little thing can set me off, especially when I don't have outside reminders that what I'm worried about is stupid.
When I get bored, I can make really cool t-shirts.

Now Playing: "Let's Dance to Joy Division" by The Wombats

Past life

2008-01-23T12:10:00.000-05:00

It was almost exactly a year ago that Wish and I started classes in Italy. Right now that seems like a different time. But I just got an e-mail from her involving some of our sillier moments over there. So without further ado...

Jaya: give me call when youre getting home from school
Wish: *playful tone* whyyyy you might be busy?
Jaya: *stammering* uh..no I meant that…um..call me so I can start making French toast before you got here. Not call me first, I might be sinning
=Pause=
..actually call me first I might be sinning

Wish: I have a really bad idea. Im going to cook pasta and put it in a bowl. And then add wine….and have pasta as cereal!
Jaya: you just made italy a part of your balanced breakfast!

Wish: gaaah I need a hookup. How do you do the random hookup thing?
Jaya: you know those standards you have?
Wish: …yeeeeeah
Jaya: get rid of them.

Wish: youre really warm
Jaya: …that’s my croch on your crotch
Wish: yeah…its really warm.

ALSO!
Enter stage left Planeteers
Earth Fire Wind Water
All do the zoing thing and then
HEART! And tosses and artichoke. It lands with a thud. Planeteers look at him. He shrugs and says “monkey”
Cut to:
Monkey on branch. He looks at ring on his hand. Looks at lady monkey on other branch. Looks at camera and waggles eyebrows.

Also!
He-man porn

He man: I don’t know if I can reach eternia alone.
Sorceress:Then unsheath your sword and we cando it together
Cue music
Character: Fist-o.

We really need to make that He-man porn.

Now Playing: "Speed of Light" by Teenage Fanclub

Sentimental Journey

2008-01-21T00:18:00.000-05:00

I didn't tell many people where I was going this weekend. On Thursday night when I told Stacey I was going to bed early so I could get up at my flight, she gave me a puzzled look and asked where I was going. When people at the airport made small talk with me, I said I was going to a "family thing." It was hard to say. The less I had to say the word "funeral" the better. Over winter break we had my grandmothers memorial, but this was, as the minister put it, "a homecoming." I arrived in D.C. to Ann's apartment, where we had a wonderful if out of place New York date by going to an Italian restaurant, drinking way too much wine, seeing the new Woody Allen movie and walking through the city. The next morning I got my coffee at the 7-11 and took the metro out to the last stop, where my mom picked me up and we drove into Virginia.

On my grandmother's grave it's going to say "She loved this church and wrote it's history." Sudley church was down the still unpaved road from the farm in Manassas she grew up in. It's easy to understand why she liked it so much. She said everyone in town went to every funeral, probably because it was the only building in the area with heat. I remember when I was 9 she showed me her favorite grave, one of a little boy who drowned in a rain barrel trying to look at the mosquito larvae almost 100 years ago. I remember being confused because I didn't know what a rain barrel was.

The service started and I started crying for the first time since my grandma died. I looked at their wedding photo displayed at the altar while we were singing hymns I didn't know the tune to, and it hit me again. I can't remember the last time I was in a church service, but I definitely wasn't this moved. I doubt it was God. It was probably them. The photo of them looking back at me from the program; my grandpa's hand on her shoulder and that smirk on his face. He always seemed in to be in on a joke that no one else got. I had told my mom I didn't want to speak, but after hearing her and her two siblings speak I knew I had to, and I knew what to say. I was convinced I sounded like bumbling idiot but there was a look of pride on my moms face that I haven't seen in a long time. Everyone kept telling me what said was beautiful. So I guess I believe them.

At the reception we all got drunk and cousin Sue started flirting with Turner and tying cherry stems in her mouth, Turner told me how he once got so stoned in Amsterdam that he couldn't work a doorknob for about half an hour. Some of the women complained about having the "Harrover butt" but I was glad that that was one trait I didn't inherit. People told me I looked like my grandma. Or my grandpa's mother. People I've only met two or three times in my life told me they loved me. And even though I only met them those few times, I remembered how much I loved them.

The night continued with an open bar in D.C. and the sketchiest diner ever with a stranger somewhere around 3am. I woke up to the sound of one of the many people strewn across Ann's furniture throwing up. We saw the house my grandpa grew up in today. The comptroller of Maryland lives there now. There are pictures of him and his wife with the Clintons, and we talked politics and house renovation over muffins. My mom told me my grandpa used to raise chickens in the backyard and sell them to the neighbors.

I know I've written about them a lot. I think after this I'll be able to stop. I'm just scared of forgetting how their voices sounded. But I'm glad I have enough family to remind me of how wonderful they were all the time.

Now Playing: "A Case of You" by Joni Mitchell

"My rollercoaster's got the biggest ups and downs, as long as it keeps going 'round it's unbelievable"

2008-01-11T21:09:00.000-05:00

Today I fed myself vitamin water, burning hot coffee, bad bagels and mass-produced sushi. It didn't get light out until three hours after I left my house, and the turbulence on the airplane was bad enough to make me gasp out loud. I stretched out across three seats to steal the last morsels of sleep I could get, then finished my book and arrived to sunny skies.

So I'm back in my routine. Eating popcorn and fussing around on the internet while my roommates nap. Being laughed at by Dan and Shaun. It's still scary thinking this is the last semester I'll really be experiencing that, but I'm accepting more and more that graduation doesn't mean anything is over.

I also realized that half the reason I want to go work on a farm is just to prove myself to people. I want to travel and learn more about organic living and separate myself from the life I've known for the past eight or so years, but I also want to remind others (and myself) that I'm not just this helpless city girl. I know I can't drive and I'm small and weak but I can do this. I've cleaned horses and gathered bailed hay and my left pinkie is still fucked up when I tripped and dropped firewood on my hand and the nail turned black. Plus, I'm stubborn, and the only motivation I need to do anything is someone telling me that I can't.

Now Playing: "It Had To Be You" by Motion City Soundtrack

"Yeah, I never liked it rough"

2008-01-08T13:22:00.000-05:00

Ridiculous words from my mother last night. After we had dinner with Shoshana and her mom, and got pastries, and our mothers decided they wanted to go to a hookah bar. Sometimes I really love my life. I explained to my mom how to blow smoke rings, and she got a look of terror and awe on her face seeing how much smoke I could breathe in. But after wine and thai food it was one of the most fun nights I've had all break.

I'm ready for NOLA again. I'm ready for the comfortable feeling knowing that I'm going to be in one place for an extended period of time, so I don't have to rush to see all of my friends in short bursts.

Now Playing: Star Wars

'08

2008-01-05T22:43:00.000-05:00

So it's a new year. Rang it in well in Brian's basement with champagne and beer pong and good music. My first breakfast of 2008 was an everything bagel with cream cheese, my first dinner pad thai from Republic, my first downloaded song "Rhythm Bandits" by Junior Senior and had my first slice of ziti pizza this weekend with some of the Bucks Rock gang. Rie and I went upstate yesterday with donuts and I stayed up watching Planet Earth and now I have wicket heartburn for no reason and am back home with a glass of wine watching Flight of the Conchords.

I feel like I should have some comments about this year. After all, it's the year I'm going to graduate. I'm going to get an internship or job for the summer hopefully, and soon I'll send off for guides to organic farms in India and Australia to figure out where I want to work for a couple months after I save up some money. My mom wants to take me to Canada and Paris and Scotland. Matt wants to go to Prague and Dresden. I want to meet up with Brian or Liz or whoever ends up in another country. Frankly I'm scared shitless. I'm afraid I'll never see some of my friends again, and that it will be because we've grown apart. I'm afraid I'll find out I'm someone different than I am, which I guess wouldn't be so bad but I like who I am and I don't really feel like changing from what I am now, except for becoming a little less selfish. Most of all I'm scared I'll fail. I'll realize I don't really have a talent or a calling, and as scared as I am of changing I'm even more scared of being stuck in college life forever; traveling and drinking and sleeping around without ever growing up. I hate the idea of growing up and I don't want to do it anytime soon, but there's a nagging feeling telling me I'm going to wake up at 35 with the same life I have now and I won't be happy about it.

This is probably way too big an idea for right now. I'm going to be happy to see my friends for the rest of the week, and to get back to warmer weather and 4 day weekends and life with more people I love.

The delete button on my computer isn't working. Food crumb stuck in there or an ominous sign that life keeps moving and you can't go back?

Now Playing: "City of Angels" by The Distillers

"Well, she likes sweet and sour chicken, so she'll probably like a whiskey sour."

2007-12-28T04:55:00.000-05:00

I missed the late nights with multiple guitars and just listening to all the talent. I missed how silly everyone is. I missed realizing that even though Colin might look like a blond John Edwards, he is weirder than almost all of us. I missed Jons noises, and all the homosexuality, and quoting old Nickelodeon shows, and random dance parties. I forgot how at home I feel with all my friends here.

This is the first time I've been alone for a week. It feels weird. Christmas came and went, where I got a bunch of good books and a digital camera, and then seeing Spring Awakening with my sister (did not realize there was sex on stage, that led to some fun conversations). Matt and Ann joined in on the festivities too,

The bad part though is that my mom and I are on the rocks, which I am not used to. Ever since I stopped being the daddy's girl when I was about 7, my mom has been one of my best friends. We had fought about five times in my life before college, yet now it seems like every time I come home she looks for ways to be angry at me. I'll clean up and it's never clean enough. I'm not helpful even though I ask what I can do to help every ten minutes. My friends are freeloaders when she's the one who invited them out to Christmas for days at a time. I can never win no matter how hard I try, and I'm sick of living in constant fear of disappointing her.

I know everyone else has felt exactly the same thing about their parents, but I guess I'm just feeling it later than everyone else. Things will be fine whenever she decides they'll be fine, and I'll just ignore all the things I want to say in order to make everyone happy.

God just sitting down feels so nice.

Now Playing: "The Bitch of Living" from Spring Awakening

Poll

2007-12-19T11:52:00.001-05:00

On a scale of one to ten, how comfortable does everyone feel talking to their parents about sex? Or how honest/open are you about your sex life to them? I feel that, considering a lot of my friends, I've had skewed numbers, which has kind of fucked me over.

Now Playing: "Gone Gone Gone (Done Moved On)" by Robert Plant & Alison Krauss

The charm is in the attic

2007-12-16T21:13:00.000-05:00

Home again. My apartment looks like a hotel. Everything that really gave it character is in Lambertville as we wait to rent it out short term. I have no problem with this. I knew it and I expected it. It's just weird to walk into your bedroom where you once had old movie posters and a silver and red mirror hanging on the wall to find everything is white. I don't even have my red beaded light fixture that made everyone say that my room was perfectly lit for sex all the time. But we do have a new huge TV. It's good.

I really couldn't wait to get home. The girl sitting next to me on the flight started laughing cause I was bouncing. People got off the plane way too slow. I told my cabbie I'd pay him to speed. Matt and I stayed up until 4am drinking wine and watching Superbad, and despite the lack of sleep it was just what I needed. We then went to Lambertville and taught my siblings how to play Risk. We started something dangerous. So far it's been lots of family. My grandma's memorial was wonderful. Just good to see everyone and remember how much she was loved, and how much she loved us. And also good to see my dad play fiddle again. I forgot how good he was. I'm happy.

Now I'm sitting on my futon. Computer in my lap, waiting for my toes to warm up, and ready for a long night of relaxing before sleeping in my big bed.

Now Playing: Discovery Channel

Remember that time?

2007-12-08T19:47:00.001-05:00

As I said freshman year, we probably weren't going to get through finals without one of these.

The problem is, I don't feel stressed. I've finished two of the three papers I have left, and am pretty far along on the other one. I've done 2/3 of the flashcards I need for my only final on Thursday, and my whole class has been convening on facebook to divide up work so we can all do well. But something is off. I get these days where I feel like a failure. I've done all this work, but for what? I don't have time for my friends, and when I do they don't even want it because they've moved on. I've been a hermit and now they think I don't care.

Have I changed? I hope not. Or if I have, that it's for the better. And that I haven't left anyone behind.

Maybe I just need a break.

Now Playing: Planet Earth on Discovery Channel

Use your words

2007-12-04T01:01:00.000-05:00

Some guy on the Monday Night Football commentary used the term "raping and pillaging tight ends."

Hilarity ensued.

Now Playing: "Joe Strummer" by Cowboy Mouth

Sordid past

2007-11-29T20:01:00.000-05:00

I just realized that this guy is in my music class. And has been hitting on me all year. I wonder if he remembers...

Also, yay free beer at the B-school.

Now Playing: Daily Show

I miss my friends

2007-11-28T21:16:00.000-05:00

Even though they're here, I've been feeling detached. Maybe it's the stress. Or that everyone is busy. Or maybe I should listen to Rie's medical opinion.

Papayajaya1: so you know when you read all day, and feel accomplished cause you've gotten everything done, and then you wake up and realize you've missed a chapter?
espritdescalier9: yeah
Papayajaya1: and instead of getting ahead on reading at work, you have to finish it before class?
espritdescalier9: that happened to me before my abnormal psych exam
Papayajaya1: yeah i hate that feeling
Papayajaya1: ouch
espritdescalier9: it was funny
espritdescalier9: because it was the chapter on stress
espritdescalier9: ha ha!
espritdescalier9: oh irony!
espritdescalier9: you are SO funny

lub189: if i know anything about you, it's the size of your head

tsunamie8604: will making fun of peyton manning ever get old?

naturalasnight: that number...
Auto response from Papayajaya1: 917 685 6871
naturalasnight: yeah, that one...
naturalasnight: is that the number of people that want to have sex with you?

moscow1510: jaya
Papayajaya1: ben
moscow1510: bacon
Papayajaya1: apples
moscow1510: syrup
Papayajaya1: better than research paper
moscow1510: certainly
moscow1510: when?
Papayajaya1: whenever
moscow1510: k
moscow1510: im going to shower / get lunch. and then.
Papayajaya1: then!
moscow1510: then.
Papayajaya1: this has been an efficient conversation
moscow1510: all about efficiency
moscow1510: I'm off! wooooosh

Papayajaya1: ugh, i dont like doing bibliographies and footnotes
ImperialistHyena: thats why I just make facts up...
Papayajaya1: hahaha
Papayajaya1: so much easier when you're not being graded
ImperialistHyena: "the moon was first discovered by the vikings during the Cold War, when the Cubans ended the started the last Ice Age"
ImperialistHyena: started the Ice Age
Papayajaya1: hahaha
ImperialistHyena: see... absolutely no bibliography required
Papayajaya1: weren't the native americans the first to go to space?
Papayajaya1: and corn came from iceland?
ImperialistHyena: psshht... native Americans were the first to land on the Hubble Telescope.. not the first to go to space... see, check out page 134 of the Encylopedia Cinarica

Papayajaya1: does this mean i'm pregnant?
moscow1510: obviously
Papayajaya1: shit
Papayajaya1: damn you the pill!
moscow1510: sorry
moscow1510: but now you dont have to worry about the pill
moscow1510: for a few months anyway
Papayajaya1: ...
Papayajaya1: woo sex? and then woo motherhood?
moscow1510: woo adoptionhood?
moscow1510: woo momhood
Papayajaya1: woo abortions!
moscow1510: woo abortionhood!

Tritogeniae: i want skate folk!
Papayajaya1: can we start an underground yodeling band?
Tritogeniae: sure
Tritogeniae: just as good as an aboveground one
Papayajaya1: actually, i like floating yodeling more
Papayajaya1: we can go with that
Tritogeniae: derigible yodeling group?

lub189: the latex will be uncomfortable, but it'll be worth it when we rob those suckers blind and hightail it out of dodge!
lub189: alot of my schemes seem to end that way.
Papayajaya1: hahahahaha
Papayajaya1: its the best way to end things
Papayajaya1: lowtailing sucks
lub189: and who even goes INTO dodge?
Papayajaya1: fsers
Papayajaya1: dodge sucks
lub189: nobody does, not anymore.
lub189: that's why you hightail it out of there
Papayajaya1: can you just tail dodge?
lub189: you could
lub189: if you wanna be unceremoniously thrown out of the grifter's alliance
lub189: but hey, you do what you want
Papayajaya1: nah, i'll stick to hightailing
Papayajaya1: or possibly absconding
lub189: well, we'll be absconding with other people's things
Papayajaya1: true
Papayajaya1: make off with the loot?
lub189: statute 3.41.2b says if you call it loot, you have to run away yelling "ha cha cha cha cha cha" or "woopwoopwoopwoopwoop"
Papayajaya1: i can do that
lub189: and i demand to be taken seriously
lub189: so, of course we can

Angelo di Perla: ancient Chinese remedy
Angelo di Perla: fucking like bunnies

Now Playing: Gossip Girl

Illusion food?

2007-11-26T01:29:00.000-05:00

Food Network creeps me out sometimes. Why do they have Neil Patrick Harris?

I woke up at 1:30 after going to bed at nearly 5 in the morning. I took a shower and didn't get out of my pajamas all day. I had a dream where I sang Baptist hymns with Green Day, and later found out I was a ghost because no one saw me wherever I was. I feel like that should mean something but I don't want to think about it too much.

I tried to get work done, but iTunes seemed to not want that to happen. It was rainy and dark and these mellow, introspective songs kept coming on that just made me sit and thing and daze off. I'd come back 20 minutes later to find I'd only written a sentence that wasn't even that great. I don't want to work anymore. I just want to read and watch movies with my friends and spend whole days in bed without any consequences. Is that too much to ask?

Now Playing: "Anyone Else But You" by The Moldy Peaches

"I swear, this is what everyone's apartment in college looked like"

2007-11-23T15:19:00.000-05:00

Last night was probably one of the best and one of the most embarrassing thanksgivings I've ever had. We tried to deep fry a turkey, but realized we didn't have enough oil. Apparently 3 gallons wasn't enough to cover it. So we madly drove around the city trying to find anywhere that was open, only to begin heating the oil in 40 degree weather and massive wind. That did not go well. The flame kept blowing out and the oil was not heating fast enough. So two hours after our anticipated dinner time, we cut up the turkey and roasted it. Everything ended up delicious by 9 when we all sat down to dinner, and there was good wine and family and friends. My mom and Turner loved all my friends, and from what I saw everyone was having a good time. I just hope that's the truth and no one was saying it just to make me feel better.

My mom called me this morning to say that it totally reminded her of her time in college, and she loved my friends and was so glad I found people like that. I think that's what I'm most thankful for.

Now Playing: "Everybody Knows" by Ryan Adams

Amma

2007-11-18T21:02:00.000-05:00

She was probably the strongest woman I've ever known. I never saw her break, and she always seemed to know what was good for me. She could see what I felt before I knew it. She knew when I wanted peanut butter when I tried to convince myself to get a chocolate shake at our breakfast runs to get the paper. She knew when I wanted to crawl into bed with her and my grandpa, and always seemed to be awake and ready for me. She taught me how to play solitaire, and what a Eurasian Widgeon looks like, and how to make currant jelly. I need to find that recipe.

The last time I saw her is what I'm glad I have in my mind. After two hours of getting lost in Jersey, Matt finally dropped me off at the retirement home. When I went into her room she was asleep, but she looked five years younger with all the color she had in her face. I sat at the foot of her bed, reading the New York Times and just waiting. She woke up about ten minutes later, and the smile she gave me was one of pure love. I don't think there was anything else behind it. My uncle came in a bit later, and we all sat around just talking. She was so alert and so interested. No matter what I said, she was always interested.

I know her health went downhill after that. It had been since my grandpa died. She never wanted to show how much she missed him, but we all knew. I don't really know if I believe in an afterlife. Most of my logic points to no. But there is a part of me that hopes they're together again.

Now Playing: "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie

Distraction

2007-11-18T12:06:00.001-05:00

I was assigned my third research paper this week, and nearly started crying in class. This semester has just been ridiculously stressful, and I want to spent Thanksgiving with my family and friends, but that means that the week after I get back I'll probably just be working on my papers nonstop. But it is nice having friends who will distract you from what's happening. Whether it be by making a mix-cd dedicated to you and driving to Sonic to get cherry limeade (seriously, that stuff is like crack to me), hanging out with you over a couple drinks or blondies, or just telling you you're doing well. Now I'm trying to write about why preeemptive war is bad for America on an economic level, but I realize I have no statistics about the economy to back it up. Woo.

I just can't wait for deep fried turkey and my mom and my friends.

Now Playing: "Punk Rock Song" by Bad Religion

The rhombus is a sweet shape

2007-11-12T21:31:00.000-05:00

This weekend was pretty near perfect. House party on Friday, with lots of beer pong, disney singalongs, absinthe, and embarassing pictures in the morning. But I got up and made pancakes and had a nice brunch, which was just what I needed. I was relatively productive, and went to the Saints game on Sunday. However, they lost to the Rams? The fucking Rams? Sarah and I were kind of in disbelief, but oh well.

Except now I'm sick. Woke up with a fever, all achey and doing that sweating/shivering thing all night. No fun. I lounged around the house all day trying to get some work done if I could pay attention. Maybe it's a price to pay to the fun gods, but I'm still hoping it goes away.

I had an interesting post, but I'm too tired to write it all.

Now Playing: "Jungle Love" by Steve Miller Band

All you want to be is in a dream

2007-11-07T12:07:00.001-05:00

Last night I went to the Columns hotel, wearing three inch heels that I couldn't walk in and a low cut dress to distract people from my lack of grace. I listened to a man talk about dreams. About revelations dreams, and the Bible, and how our dreams really do mean something, even if (as one girl in the audience suggested) we fell asleep watching Red October and that's why Sean Connery is there.

For the past week or so I've been having really vivid dreams. Dreams where I wake up and I have no clue where I am. I'm at boarding school in Versailles with a friends roommate, or I'm lost on a bus in Jersey and yelling at my dad. Last night I had an especially bizarre one. I was at my grandparents house in Englewood, and I woke up and it was 9:51. Class started at 10. I panicked and made my grandpa drive me to school while I got dressed in the back of the car. We left the house and it was still dark out, and we drove through streets with endless catholic churches, though they were all made of what looked like pink styrofoam. I get to school and it looks like an indoor version of Trastevere, but the storefronts and restaurants are all classrooms. I get inside, still getting dressed in the room outside my classroom. All my friends look at me funny, going "why are you rushing? You have time." I look at the clock and it's still 9:51. Then the guys start making comments about the fact that I'm shirtless, and fondling me, but my inner voice says it's ok cause they're really sweethearts. And then I wake up.

My boss says it means that the number 951 has some significance in my life. I think I'm just going crazy. Any thoughts?

Now Playing: "Spores" by Say Anything

Grammar

2007-11-05T21:29:00.000-05:00

So my aunt sent me a birthday card with a loop of the song "One Eyed One Horned Flying Purple People Eater" playing on it, and I've realized that since I was a kid I was always confused with this song. Is it talking about a one eyed, one horned flying purple thing that eats people? Or a thing that eats one eyed, one horned flying purple people. Or a one eyed, one horned thing that eats flying purple people? Why isn't there grammar in lyrics!?

Yeah, I woke up thinking I was at boarding school in Versailles, so it's been an off day.

Now Playing: "Oh My Sweet Carolina" by Ryan Adams

Seventh grade lunch period

2007-11-04T11:30:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I really hate myself when I revert back into 12 year old pissy, insecure Jaya mode. Especially when it's not even my night. And especially when I'm having an awesome time, but there's just something that seems to want to sabotage it. And especially when the thing that I'm more insecure about than anything actually happens, and of course it's no one's fault but my own. Sometimes a text message asking of your whereabouts would be all you needed.

Football and queso should solve this.

EDIT: Totally solved everything

Now Playing: "Just a Gigolo" by Louis Prima and Keely Smith

Legal

2007-10-29T19:21:00.001-04:00

This weekend was amazing. I now have an autographed photo from a smut peddlar, a Defend New Orleans shirt, a mind full of songs from VooDoo fest, a stomach full of amazing food, an orchid, a secret handshake, Saints tickets and the most amazingly offensive present from Sansone.

So I'm 21 now, and having the normal anxiety I have every year about getting older. But it's better than before. Mainly because I have friends who are willing to dress in silly costumes and go to a bar with me just because I say so. They like me! They really like me!

Now Playing: "Aqua Boogie (A Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop)" by Parliament

Woo!

2007-10-25T00:41:00.000-04:00

Shoshana gets here tomorrow. And Sarah and I just ordered Saints tickets. And I got an A on my oral presentation for English. And somewhere in India, they're training monkey death squads. Life is good.

Now Playing: "We Are The Pipettes" by The Pipettes

You know you go to Tulane when...

2007-10-19T12:42:00.000-04:00

You run into your shitfaced professor outside a club on St. Claude when a 35 piece brass band complete with stilters, fire performers and burlesque dancers has just paraded down the street. And you're talking to the guys on stilts and the saxophonist is flirting with you. And your professor buys you drinks. And then you dance in a 10 foot tall cage because a gay man on stilts tells you to.

Now Playing: "Pilo Effect" by MarchFourth Marching Band

You say you wake up crying, yeah and you don't know why

2007-10-18T12:49:00.000-04:00

I can't remember the last time I did that. Or I can, but it was so long ago that I feel like that phrase makes sense with the time frame. But at 7am I woke up sobbing from some stupid dream that I know is fake but still has me shaken. The 2nd dream once I fell back asleep wasn't much better, which involved my getting pregnant by some faceless friend, and on the day I had to give birth he and all my friends decided I was a whore and an idiot and left me to fend for myself in a forest, where my aunt and mom found me and ran me to what from the outside looked like a castle but the inside looked like a crab shack. I was woken up by an alarm from that one, but I was still crying.

I'm blaming the library, because I spent about three hours there last night and that's just unnatural.

Now Playing: "Rag & Bone" by the White Stripes

Rocks fall, everyone dies

2007-10-14T15:40:00.000-04:00

Wow, I just made a D&D joke...

This week was just fucking stressful. Yes, I danced really well (pictures soon I hope) but there was just so much work and I ended up making myself sick because I stressed myself out so much. Hopefully football later today will fix it, or I'll fully let go for a night and not have everything I'm worried about swimming in my head. Until then, the new Radiohead is giving me orgasms and it's pretty awesome.

Also, I shot a gun for the first time yesterday. And we were rednecks, in the backseat of a pickup truck with all the ammo in the back, gunning it down some windy dirt road in Slidell, LA and blasting Charlie Daniels as loud as we could, before making it to Cooter Browns and ordering oysters by the dozen and gator sausage po-boys and all the beer we could handle. Sometimes the south really does have its charm.

Now Playing: "15 Step" by Radiohead

I hear legless bellydancers are the new black...

2007-10-07T23:33:00.000-04:00

I feel like a bad friend. This is the first time in a while that I've had to turn down hanging out with people for my own sanity. Normally my friends make me sane, but this weekend I was just too tired. It hurts to think that someone thinks that I ditched her for no reason, when really it was because I spent six hours dancing and my body couldn't handle doing anything else, even though my mind said it would be ok. I'm sorry.

I just took a bath for the first time in ages. Normally I don't like them. I get too hot and dizzy by the time I get out, and I feel dirtier than before. But the second I sat in that tub, with the mango and pomegranate suds around me, and the massage oil that I threw in there for good measure, I felt human again. I listened to Beethoven's 6th and my hips kept sliding to the left as if I were on a ouija board, and now I'm hoping my leg will calm down so I can dance tomorrow.

Oh crap, I have to perform. Help?

Now Playing: "Game Shows Touch Our Lives" by The Mountain Goats

Hip umph

2007-10-05T01:47:00.000-04:00

Today I woke up and my legs and back were aching, but I've gotten used to that now. I ran through the rain and showed up at the house soaking wet but excited. I strutted down hardwood floors proudly baring my midriff and playing with scarves, tucking them into my hips as my belt jingled with coins. I danced for two hours straight, not even noticing time go by, but focusing on if my back was straight, what my arms were doing, if my hips were hitting the downbeat, and if my abs moved too much when I shimmied my chest. I thought about what it would be like. I want huge roses in my hair and metal armbands. I want henna designs all down my back. I want to stare at the audience through deep dark eyes and seduce them with my blood red lips.

I walked home in the afternoon sun, humidity having gone after the storm, sun shining sideways and blinding me with the windows of houses I passed. I undulated and rolled down the street to any song I listened to. I was happy.

You know, just saying, I feel awesome.

Now Playing: "We Got Love" by Ryan Shaw

Cheer up

2007-09-30T17:11:00.000-04:00

Fucking Jets...
In an effort to make myself laugh (and also because nothing really out of the ordinary has happened this weekend), here's a long overdue greatest hits. Seriously, stuff from summer here.

lub189: well, you can't spell "jane austen isn't very fun" without "fun"

papayajaya1: well you're twice my height
papayajaya1: so yeah
lub189: twice?
lub189: you're 3 feet tall?
lub189: my god, jaya
papayajaya1: haha
lub189: hyperbole kills

DACE159: i think there's a bat in my house
DACE159: if i don't come back to school, it's because the bat bit me and gave me super powers, and now i'm out saving the world
DACE159: or it bit me and i died from rabies

Tritogeniae: you loves me
Tritogeniae: you just hates that you loves me
Tritogeniae: because loving me is pain
Tritogeniae: kind of like sex with a cactus

DACE159: pick a number
Papayajaya1: 9
DACE159: don't tell me
Papayajaya1: damn, ok
Papayajaya1: i have a new one
DACE159: multiply by 3
Papayajaya1: k
DACE159: add the number of people you've kissed
Papayajaya1: damn, i cant count that high
DACE159: well, game's over, slut

lub189: this joke.. she has flown the coop.
Papayajaya1: you dont know from jokes!
lub189: haha, what, you want i should come out here and tell jokes that nobody gets?
lub189: what do i want, ulcers?
lub189: fehhh!
Papayajaya1: think of what you're doing to your mother!
lub189: fsers.
Papayajaya1: aotpl
lub189: also, i am tots gng2bd
Papayajaya1: and there we go, all of matt and jayas summer jokes in one conversation

Laura: You were like a blind person trying to find a hot dog.
Jaya: What was that metaphor?
Laura: I don't know, I couldn't think of anything else a blind person would look for.

Jondude14: im so high & drunk holy fuckkkk you are a bibble bobbling off the stream! do you know what it huh? FOOOOOO

Papayajaya1: good, just dont kill all the brain cells
Papayajaya1: (pot kettle black)
Angelo di Perla: well they grow back, right?
Angelo di Perla: right??
Angelo di Perla: RIGHT?!??!

Papayajaya1: you are smart
Papayajaya1: you just cant read
lub189: someone is forgetting the outcome of the great matt-jaya harry potter pro-am fun fast read for the cure 2007

Papayajaya1: i'm just unhealthily self-aware, is all
lub189: i understand
lub189: i also suffer from USA
Papayajaya1: oh double meaning
Papayajaya1: how delightfully subversive
lub189: QUITE
lub189: /chortle

tsunamie8604: venerial diseases don't make for a good saturday night

lub189: i am know for my smarts
lub189: known

Now Playing: "Carousel" by Blink-182

Better be prepared to be surprised

2007-09-27T19:34:00.000-04:00

I got a giant package from EMI today with seven free CD's and press releases. Oh man, I'm a professional.
The Dan in Real Life soundtrack is amazing.
I found out that my bellydancing performance at the Dragons Den is going to be improv to a live band.
Is it bad that I'm worried about if I'm gonna look good?
I think I'm doing a bad job expressing how excited I am, but I'm trying.

Now Playing: "Let My Love Open the Door" performed by Sondre Lerche

Power of association

2007-09-24T12:44:00.000-04:00

I've realized that there are certain albums I associate with seasons or times in my life. Sufjan Stevens and Death Cab are winter music, mainly reminding me of sitting in the library at Columbia and getting all my work done three weeks in advance because I had nothing better to do. Blink-182 is the road trip from New Mexico to Colorado I took with my mom when I was 14, listening to every album in repeated chronological order, with the occasional interjection from Weezer's Blue Album. Fountains of Wayne is junior year of high school, sitting in the reading room with my friends, one ear in my headphones as an excuse for actually being social. And if they remind me of being shy, the Ramones do it ten times more. They were all I listened to when I would sit in the nook in the Annex doing my homework in between classes and not making eye contact with anyone who passed by. Ted Leo is late summer. The Futureheads is snow. Ryan Adams is fall in New York. Journey is Tulane in general. I don't know why I make these connections, but I think everyone does to some extent. There are songs that remind us of certain nights, people, emotions, and when we hear them we travel back (whether we want to or not). It's nice knowing that anything I've known in the past isn't so far away.

Also, Matt recently pointed out to me that I seem to put the same amount of importance on my academic and professional obligations as I do my social ones. I don't really think this is a bad thing, but it's kind of killing my liver and my lungs. So if anyone wants to give me a couple of new organs that'd be great kthxbye.

Now Playing: "Coney Island" by Death Cab for Cutie

mmm cancer

2007-09-21T01:53:00.001-04:00

Having a hookah in my apartment is probably going to be the death of me, if this weekend doesn't get me first. If you don't hear from me by Monday, say something nice at my funeral.

Now Playing: "Gravity Rides Everything" by Modest Mouse

Perfect

2007-09-16T11:31:00.000-04:00

Last night was a plan turned into an adventure. After finding out Ellis Marsalis was sold out at Snug Harbor, Wish and Brett and I went across the street to the Spotted Cat, probably my favorite club in New Orleans, to find the Washboard Chaz Blues Trio rocking out on stage. We got wine and watched the dancing and the joy spreading across everyones faces. And the next band that played started with my favorite Miles Davis song, so life could not get any better. Walking out I had a dream where I would live above the bike shop across the street, able to walk out onto my wrought-iron balcony whenever I wanted and listen to the sounds from below.

This morning as I walked outside to take out the trash in my cheap, pink cotton robe with a rip in the shoulder, I stopped to realize how beautiful it was. It was that temperature where (at least in the Northeast) you know summer is coming to an end. I used to spend the ends of every summer on the beach. The last few days there would always be a slight breeze on the beach. The sun was warm but not hot, and at night you would need that extra sweatshirt while sitting on the porch, husking corn. In a couple weeks, back North, the trees will start changing colors. And I imagine myself walking around in a blazer, the wind and leaves blowing around me, feeling fresh.

If there's one thing I'd change about the South, it would be seasons. But considering that's only one thing, I think I'm doing pretty well.

Now Playing: "The Rescue Blues" by Ryan Adams

In the vein of the flashback...

2007-09-13T12:34:00.000-04:00

Today I'm wearing all black and can't stop listening to The Offspring.

When did 16-year-old Jaya take over?

Now Playing: "Bad Habit" by The Offspring

Flashback

2007-09-09T17:59:00.000-04:00

I reverse stalk. That little counter at the bottom of my blog? That's me finding out who you are, where you are, what you're reading and for how long. Sorry to creep you out, it's just interesting to me. People from different states and countries find out who I am and what I do, so why shouldn't I find out what they're reading?

Anyway, as I was looking through it today, I found that someone found my blog by googleing "Tulane bruff blog" and it lead them to my archives in September 2005. I don't think I have to remind anyone of what happened just prior to that month. Reading what I thought just kind of caught me off guard, because I completely forgot who I was at the time. I was 18, in love, dealing with separation and fear and chaos, and incredibly lonely at the big, bad ivy league. I was addicted to CNN, falling asleep on the futon with my remote in hand as the light from Anderson Cooper's face flooded over mine. I remember waking up with a fever, fainting in the hallway, and sneaking back off to Columbia because class was the only thing that would keep my mind off reality. I looked at my arm and still have a shadow of a scar from where it scraped against the door frame as I fell. Now looking back, I guess I have changed during the past two years, but I wish I had learned more from the situation. Lord knows I didn't deal with separation and change any better when I went to Italy.

But I have changed. I can't really explain it, and I won't make people sick by quoting that one Wallflowers line that seems to embody this feeling but that everyone uses on their yearbook pages. But I feel different. Hopefully not in an alienating way, but just in a more confident, better-version-of-me kind of way. I have a ways to go before I'm anywhere as interesting or engaging as I want to be, but for now it's a good place.

Now Playing: "The Hardest Part" by Ryan Adams & The Cardinals

Hungover musings

2007-09-08T19:31:00.000-04:00

After waking up at around 10:30 feeling sick, tired and only part of my memory intact, today has wound up surprisingly well. There was Saturday morning Guitar Hero, groceries, delicious sandwiches, some homework, wii, and now making tacos before I try to settle my dilemma. And here it is. Stay in my apartment for the Lost boardgame, or go to Shaun's for Risk.

I know, pathetic. But hear me out.

It illustrates what has basically been my problem for a long time. Namely, different groups of friends and trying to see them all. I want to hang out with my new roommate, but I've never seen Lost. And I want to play Risk but it would be definitely fewer people. And then there is the fact that I haven't really seen Liz, Raleigh or Wish much. I would just invite everyone over, but I also don't want every night to turn into a huge party, where I wouldn't really get to see anyone and I'd be at square one again. This must sound pretty trivial. It just makes me more and more want to live out my dream of buying a huge apartment building, moving all of my friends into it, embezzling money from somewhere so we don't have to have jobs, and just hanging out all day. Wow, I'm selfish.

In other news, wii thinks I'm 54.

Now Playing: "Summer Dress 1 (All Her Winter Clothes)" by +/-

My nose is sunburnt

2007-09-04T19:28:00.000-04:00

I guess that's what a day of beer pong on the levee will do to you. However, we did make it to the 3rd round so that makes me happy. Things are settling in. Classes are good. Friends are better. I remember my Aunt telling me once that you never change more than in the year you graduate college. As I'm sure you've all figured out by now, I'm not a huge fan of change. Not when I'm happy at least. Sure I'll want adventure and to run away, but I'm selfish because I want everyone and everything to be waiting for me when I come back. And I can't remember being happier than I am now. I don't want to change. I like who I am. What if I change away from the people I love?

Everyone keeps telling me I care too much about what everyone thinks, but I thought that was part of friendship. Aren't you supposed to care enough to want to make them happy? I'm just scared of one day waking up and realizing that no one else cares as much. I hope becoming jaded isn't the change that happens.

Now Playing: "Lover, You Should've Come Over" by Jeff Buckley

"We don't have the cherries, but we still have the box they came in!"

2007-08-28T15:45:00.000-04:00

On campus for a week and conversation is as dirty as ever. I've settled back into my routine. Video games with Shaun and Melissa. Making Mary turn red at any opportunity. Dirty jokes with Alex. Teasing banter with Dan, drinking games, baking, and catching up with everyone. There are still some things I'm getting used to. The kitchen is too small, the UC is still new, and lord knows I'm not in the school mood yet. Starting reading today was hard, but it'll be ok. I've missed it. But last semester was a good lesson. I may not like it, but I know how to live without these people. Maybe that'll soften the blow a bit at the end of the semester. But I'm sure I'll still end up spending a shitload on airfare visiting everyone.

Now Playing: "The Pretender" by Foo Fighters

:-)

2007-08-25T03:10:00.000-04:00

I've come home

Now Playing: "Missed the Boat" by Modest Mouse

Over and out

2007-08-20T11:12:00.000-04:00

Ok, after the last post i finished work so automatically my stress level went down. And really I've had the perfect last weekend. Chester was in the city because he was starring in a play his friends wrote that was being produced for Fringe Fest. We went to a hookah bar, talked about comics, and eventually got Jon, Rachel, Matt and Lauren into the city for all kinds of fun. It was hard saying goodbye, especially realizing that I haven't gotten to see them that much this summer. This was the first time we were all working nearly full time jobs in separate places, so weekends went by fast and soon enough it had been the whole summer and we hung out only three or four times. I guess that's what happens when you grow up. Hopefully it doesn't mean that they're any less important, or that things will change the next time we see each other.

So last day. LK is coming down, my mom is driving me over to Brian's tonight, and then we're off. For all of you at Tulane, I'm terribly sorry if I stink of jerky and IHOP by the time I get back.

P.S. Does anyone else understand why Sum 41 just rereleased "Fat Lip" for their new single?

Now Playing: "Broken Heart" by Motion City Soundtrack

Cause we'd be so free. Happy alone. Sharing a smile so far from home.

2007-08-17T14:33:00.000-04:00

4 more days. Stuff keeps coming up and those small windows of alone time keep getting smaller and smaller. And all I want to do right now is just be in a car with Brian with a large supply of energy drinks and jerky, headed south. I don't want to work. I don't want to deal with any more botched orders or people who talk too slow or too quiet or who don't know what they want and expect me to spend 20 minutes on the phone with them while more calls pile up. I don't want to go home and have to spend every waking moment preparing my apartment for the temporary move out. I don't want to spend every night drunk and stoned and entertaining people. Right now I'm just counting the hours until I'm on the beach at Coney Island, watching the fireworks go off and just forgetting this whole day.

Now Playing: "True Love Way" by Kings of Leon (stuck in my head for two days)

"I'm just gonna leave this here, and if anybody smokes it, it's not my fault"

2007-08-12T21:31:00.000-04:00

I really don't know how to describe this weekend. There was Soul Rebel Brass Band in Central Park, then getting a scolding when my dad snuck in wine, so sitting on a lawn listening to Galactic and drinking. Then running into Shoshana, going back to my dads place for dinner, where we proceeded to get stoned out of a corncob pipe and play guitar and sing Beatles songs. I should have seen that coming. And jesus my dad has good stuff. I took 3 hits (not a huge smoker) and was fucking gone. As were my friends. Must have been fun for him to have three 20 year olds completely out of their minds on his couch, and then singing "Hey Jude" at the top of their lungs. Anyway, back to my house, meeting up with Rie and getting good beer and chilling on the terrace. It was a gorgeous night. Today was up, smoking more, mojito's at brunch, and then Ted Leo in Brooklyn.

Now I'm home and starting to pack, which is weird. Seems like so soon I was just unpacking the same suitcase after Europe, and now I'm leaving again. I sometimes wonder when life will be stable. This will be the first year since freshman year that I'm spending both semesters at Tulane. But after that, it's job or travel. Maybe that program in Costa Rica for a year, maybe going to the mediterranean and just bumming around, or maybe I'll find a job that'll move me back to New York or keep me in NOLA or send me somewhere I've never been. I wish I knew. Sometimes I wish it all could settle, but then again I'm 20, and I like the excitement.

Now Playing: "Excuse Me While I Break My Own Heart Tonight" by Whiskeytown

If the apron fits

2007-08-08T16:10:00.000-04:00

Judging from today, I don't think I'd mind a job where I got to stay at home a lot. I blasted bellydancing music and put on my coined skirt and shimmied around my kitchen while making roast tomato soup from scratch. This coming after last night when at 1am Rie and I made chocolate chip toffee cookies. I've read, organized CD's, vacuumed, done sit ups, and just relaxed and stayed out of the heat. I'd probably get bored if this lasted more than two days, but it's been nice just having the place to myself and not doing anything important. Tonight I'm off to review another show. I could get used to life like this.

Now Playing: "I Can't Hardly Wait" by New York City Smoke

"What are you doing? Stop that!"

2007-08-05T00:30:00.000-04:00

If I ever react that way to oral sex, someone please shoot me.

Yesterday was awesome. Yankees game, ending with being completely soaked because the skies decided to open up. But then we met Rie and LK at the hookah bar and everything was good. Of course I got back at 3am and was definitely exhausted at work, but slow day, nothing happened. I came home tired and hot and with some weird heat rash on my neck, and though I expected to be going out no one picked up their phone. So now it's just me and the Food Network.

My apartment is strange. Because of various issues, my mom is taking a family leave from work in the fall, moving to Jersey with her husband, and doing a short term rental on our apartment. The apartment will still be ours (if it wasn't, there would be hell to pay), but for a couple months someone else will be living hear. Meaning we have to get rid of everything personal. All the art, books, albums and good furniture will be going to Jersey. Lots of it will come with me to New Orleans. But it feels weird knowing that my home will essentially not be mine. As long as it gets us to keep the apartment in the long run, I'll do it, but I'm not having a good time packing up my entire life and realizing I'm not going to have this place to come back to for a while.

Alton Brown on Feasting on Asphalt is in New Orleans eating crawfish, and is on a gator farm, and it's making me miss it. It's also making me want to learn to ride a motorcycle and just head off.

Now Playing: "There Will Be No Divorce" by The Mountain Goats

Whoa

2007-08-02T16:07:00.000-04:00

First article in the newspaper.

Ahh!!!

Update: And now the second article is out.

I won't keep posting these, I swear.

Now Playing: "Cry of the Brave" by Dragonforce (And EmK, you were right. Epic sex to this song is absolutely necessary)

Why'd it have to be snakes?

2007-07-25T00:32:00.000-04:00

Of course when I set out with Ann and Michael to play on the swings in Thompkins Square, we find a movie screen playing Indiana Jones and people giving out free cookies. And we sit on the lawn with the NYU kids, the gutter punks, the old Village ghosts and everyone in between, and enjoy looking at Harrison Ford in no shirt and a fedora.

Who could ask for more out of life?

Also, I think Prince is the only person who can get away with the lyric "I sincerely wanna fuck the taste out of your mouth."

Now Playing: "Dead!" by My Chemical Romance

Too busy to do anything else

2007-07-23T00:13:00.000-04:00

Two shows to review this week, devoting free time to reading Harry Potter and Yiddish Policemen's Union, and then the rest of the books I have on my list. And walking everywhere. So in the meantime, I must ask an essential question: Why do all my friends want to kill hoboes?

dizzyg31: i mean of course you're hot
dizzyg31: you have boobs.......i'm sure you've got other qualities

lub189: i murdered a hobo yesterday
lub189: JUST TO FEEL

Tritogeniae: you are so weird sometimes
Papayajaya1: i know
Papayajaya1: sometimes?
Tritogeniae: yeah
Tritogeniae: othertimes you’re insane
Papayajaya1: ooooh ok there we go
Tritogeniae: yeah
Tritogeniae: what you thought id infer that you were normal?
Tritogeniae: id never insult you that way

Tritogeniae: LIAR!
Tritogeniae: LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE GO PUT YOURBUTT OUT BEFORE YOU BURN

lub189: yeah, but i'll be a young professional.
lub189: what the hell are you?
Papayajaya1: waitress?
Papayajaya1: sexy waitress?
lub189: i'll be at all the hippest.. clubs... doing coke and stuff! and, um, hitting on waitresses!
lub189: YOUNG PROFESSIONALS YES
lub189: i'm gonna be super-nice to my doorman and then laugh at him in my cab!
Papayajaya1: will you take your business associates to strip clubs?
lub189: of course!
lub189: and for a tasteful business lunch, hooters.

Angelo di Perla: and one was "this match is so epic, it caused the beatles and van halen to regroup and form a super band called van beatles halen

Jon: Oh my god, you just sang Lydian.

lub189: i'm like tots genius over here
Papayajaya1: aotpl
lub189: for serious.
lub189: i think "for serious" needs an interbreviation
lub189: "F-Sers."
Papayajaya1: hahahaha
Papayajaya1: yes
Papayajaya1: fsers
lub189: yes
lub189: one word
lub189: fsers.
lub189: "fsers" is gonna b liek, aotpl in the neafutur
lub189: fsers.

Rich: You’re a senior, right?
Me: Yeah
Rich: Yeah, well I dropped out, so how do you spell “likeable”?

Papayajaya1: i guess i am, yesterday i was wearing just a nearly see through silk dress all day, no bra, probably flashed people, but it was hot out so its ok
DACE159: yeah, heat makes everything ok
DACE159: last week i killed a hobo, but it was warm so no one cared

dizzyg31: yea, but u kno wat's more fun than cookies?
dizzyg31: naked cookies

Now Playing: "Pints of Guinness Make You Strong" by Against Me!

Update:
DACE159: it's not that we want to kill hobos
DACE159: but if the opportunity presents itself, you have to take it
DACE159: or forever wonder what could have been

Thanks Dan.

"Deafening snaps. Let's make sure they hear our snaps all the way in Russia."

2007-07-17T13:47:00.000-04:00

This city is awesome when you can walk 4 miles to central park on a perfect evening. When you run into friends you haven't seen since Europe at a concert and you and your dad sit and drink Everclear with them and exchange stupid drunken stories. When you realize how much you missed old friends and make new ones. When the Decemberists' witty banter makes an entire park laugh. When it's a gorgeous night and everyone is singing and dancing and jigging, and you go to bed at 2am not being able to stop smiling or singing, only to wake up, go to work, and have another awesome assignment waiting for you.

Now Playing: "1234" by Feist

"Jaya, stop rummaging through everything, you're like a Raccoon. Stop being a coon."

2007-07-15T18:25:00.001-04:00

Saturday I cut out of work as fast as I could for what could only be described as one of many ridiculous driving adventures across Jersey. Matt and I must have had to turn around at least three times trying to find Lambertville, only to realize today that Google Maps didn't lie to us, Jersey just sucks and never tells you where you are. It's inspiring a game called "Escape from Jersey" that no one can ever possibly win.

But it was fine. We biked and swam in the river and cooked and drank. The usual. And of course this morning there was another adventure. I decided since I was in the area I should surprise my grandma with a visit. My initial plan was to take a cab from Turner's house to her, but Matt said he could drive me. One problem: no computer, so no idea how to get there. I called my mom but there was no answer. So we decided to call all of our friends until we found one who was awake and near a computer. His friend Griffin came through, but of course gave us a bad addresss (I realize now that it was for one of the streets within the retirement community, not the street it was actually on). So we drive for two hours for what is supposed to be a 20 minute drive. Past farms and corn and cows, past vast stretches with no signs, we had no idea where we were. But just as I was about to give up and find a train station home, my mom called. "What? You're on 209? Oh just take that two streets down and turn right on Montgomery." Boom, we were there. I hate Jersey.

But it was totally worth it. I surprised my grandma and unexpectedly saw my uncle and all is well. After passing out on the train and being too exhausted to walk home, I took a cab home. And as I got in the driver took one look at me and said "oh my god, I just fell in love with your eyes. And you're here for me? You just made my day." So maybe Jersey sucks, but New York rules.

Also, I had a weird dream last night. My dad told me he hated me and said he wanted nothing more to do with me. And the people I would turn to first weren't around to comfort me. But someone I'd be embarrassed to talk to stepped up without my asking. But then my entire family shunned them for consoling me. I really don't know what it means. Lack of sleep and summer heat does funny things to my head.

Now Playing: "Albi the Racist Dragon" by Flight of the Conchords

How the fuck did it become mid July already?

2007-07-13T11:19:00.000-04:00

Weekends are going by fast. This weekend it's Jersey, then Siren Fest, then Wish is coming in, then it's August. I hate having to work on Saturdays and pretty much losing most of the time I could be seeing my friends who have normal weekday jobs.

Last night was spent making a lime curd buttercream cake with Shoshana. And then covering it in purple frosting with pink sprinkles because clearly that's what her mom wants on her birthday. I got to bed around 1:30 and woke up 5 hours later for work, which hurt a lot.

And now at work all we're doing is making a collage of Simpsons avatars for the entire staff, and figuring out how to assemble origami ninja stars. It's wonderful.

Now an anecdote from work yesterday. A woman called complaining about her order. I asked what she ordered and she said it was a 5 lbs. pastry tray. When I asked her what the problem was, she said there weren't enough pastries. "You mean you didn't get a 5 lbs. tray?" I asked. "No" she said "I got 5 lbs. of pastires, there just aren't enough." I told her that the trays are done by weight, so we can't guarantee an exact number of pastries, but she kept insisting that I didn't understand and that now her "entire even is ruined." Ruined I tell you! Long story short she decided never to order from Veniero's again because she got 5 less mini eclairs than expected. I love people.

Now Playing: "Women's Realm" by Belle & Sebastian

Things I learned at my family reunion

2007-07-08T17:48:00.000-04:00

My middle name is actually Dutch, and some of our first relatives came over as indentured slaves from Holland in the 1700's.
We can trace part of our family back to Ireland in the 1500's.
My cousin Larry refers to asian people as "orientals."
Cousin's Philip and John have an ongoing horseshoe competition. And they're two of the funniest guys I've ever met.
I have two 2nd cousins who are going to be seniors at Tulane.
My great-grandfather owned an otter-lined coat.
My great-aunt married her stepbrother (also...I had a step-grandfather or something), which was where we got the Ayers name in our family.
My great-great-grandmother had an illegitimate son.
Cousin Larry III is building a plane in his basement.
There are entirely too many people on that side of the family, but they all rule.

Also, all day I've been ridiculously horny. This needs to stop.

Now Playing: "The Hand That Feeds Your Fantasy" by Al-B3 (NIN Vs. Ludacris)

God bless America

2007-07-05T21:32:00.000-04:00

I don't know any better way to spend 4th of July. Good friends, drinking games, video games, watching fireworks in the rain and getting up still slightly drunk to go to work are all part of what make America such a great place to live.

I got an email from my mom today that kind of frustrated me. If you know me, you know I have a lot of guy friends. I treat them no differently than any other friends, because there's no reason to. Sure, meeting a guy there is a bit of sexual tension, just while you're figuring out if you're attracted to them or not, but that can then move into a friendship pretty quickly. My friend Alex invited me to his place for a couple of days, seeing as I was going to be at a family reunion in his area. Turns out I can't go for other reasons, but when asking my mom about this she emailed me with the words that have plagued me ever since I started playing wingman to guys in the 7th grade:

"So, is this a romance?"

I know that every parent asks this about any person of the opposite sex (or same sex, or what have you), but it's never just once. Every time I have a guy over or go out with one, she asks if we're involved, even if I've told her no ten times already. I just don't understand what the big deal is. How is visiting Alex for a few days different than my flying to Chicago last year to visit Rie? Why can't I go out with Cinar for a couple of drinks to blow off steam after work without the suspicion that we're dating? If I care about and love spending time with these people, who gives a fuck if they have a penis? Now of course she's pulling the amazing mom skill of being mad at me because I called her on it (seriously, does every mom learn how to turn fights back on their children?), but I'm just hoping she takes me seriously. Besides, I'd hate for her to think her daughter is involved with every guy she brings over. If I were, I'd be a huge slut.

Now Playing: "She's the One" by Bruce Springsteen

"Bumper cars, where you can drink and drive!"

2007-06-30T16:40:00.000-04:00

Coney Island for the 3rd time this summer last night. We got huge beers at Nathan's and watched the fireworks on the beach, and one of the vendors gave me a mango daquiri for 3 bucks less because i had no cash, and I still got the free refill ticket. I took Cinar on his first Cyclone ride and got home way too late and way too drunk to be able to function this morning. Especially a morning as hectic as it was. There was some huge drama with the baker and the cake department, and everyone was yelling. I felt like I was in an episode of the Sopranos, with all the New York Italian accents and swearing and ridiculous hand gestures and threats to throw cakes in peoples faces. Seriously, this is the type of threat that happens in a pastry shop.

Anyway, I have the record release show for the article tonight. I'm kind of nervous. I feel like I have to be professional, so if I enjoy it too much or socialize too much I won't be taken seriously. Same goes for the interview on Monday. I'm younger than him, so I want to make sure I can actually interview well and have the authority. I just don't want it to be too evident that I have no idea what I'm doing. Oh well, I guess this is how I get experience.

I also cut my hair. All it would take would be a cigarette in a long holder and a huge strand of pearls for me to look like a 20s flapper. I feel pretty.

Now Playing: "Since U Been Gone" covered by Ted Leo

What?

2007-06-26T16:30:00.001-04:00

So I'm getting paid to go to a record release party and write a 600 word profile of the artist? By a legitimate New York newspaper?

What?!

Cue me dancing around the house to my Party playlist.

Now Playing: "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne

Sound of silence

2007-06-22T23:55:00.001-04:00

It feels weird being alone in my own house again. Matt came in on Tuesday out of boredom and left this afternoon. Coney Island, continuing our project of watching every episode of The Office, inventing drinks (Jim Beam, M.D.) and generally having a good time really made me happy. Then there was being a part of Ann's boyfriends scheme to surprise her, which involved some frantic phone calls with lines like "I'm sitting in her lobby in a tuxedo, where is she?!" Then there was today, where I had work from 8-4 and just got home from babysitting, and tomorrow have to get up early to continue cleaning my kitchen. It's my only time between work, out tomorrow night, and Jersey on Sunday. And if I don't have the house clean by the time my mom comes home there is hell to pay. So of course, the one day I could sleep in to 9:30 for work, I'm getting up at the normal time. Sorry to complain. Really, life is good. I just sometimes hate the fact that nothing I do ever seems good enough. I'll forget one chore and my mom automatically thinks I'm a spoiled New York brat and that she did a terrible job raising me. I know I'm overreacting here but I've been working for about 15 hours straight and life is getting a little out of focus.

Now Playing: "16 Military Wives" by the Decemberists

What is this thing you call free time?

2007-06-16T20:20:00.000-04:00

So since we last spoke here's what's happened. Matt came into the city and we drank and watched the Office. I spent a day lounging around and then going out bowling with my mom and her friends. I worked a lot and got stuck being the only one in the cake ordering department, ending up working 9 hours with no break and not sitting down the whole time. Went way the fuck uptown for a housewarming party with Brian. Went to Westchester and got ziti pizza with Jon, Rachel, Lauren, Liz and Sloane. And in general have been completely exhausted. I feel like it's time for a good wander around the city, and then it's a good time to come home and watch Blade Runner and play guitar before going to Long Island tomorrow.

It's weird being an adult in my childhood home. My mom is out in Lambertville every weekend, and since I work Saturdays I haven't made it out yet, so last night I came home to an empty house and have been taking care of myself most of the time. My mom and I see each other during the week, but for a good half of the time I'm here I'm here alone. It's fun imagining what it would be like to live here by myself. Taking care of my own business and having over who I want. I can't wait until I have that for myself. I'll get my own apartment and decorate it the way I want. My art collection will be a collection of inherited pieces from my grandparents and my band posters that I'll get framed. I'll have mix and match silverware and plates, and my first kitchen purchase will be my own kitchenaid mixer. I'll figure out a better way to organize all the CD's than my mom has, and I'll have curtains that I'll probably forget to close half the time since I like the sunlight so much. And I don't care how small it's going to be, or how far out in Brooklyn I'll have to live before I can afford to live in Manhattan, because it'll be mine.

Now Playing: "Milk & Honey" by Beck

It must be summer

2007-06-10T15:42:00.000-04:00

Because shit like last night happens. Because I show up at someones house and within 10 minutes am borrowing clothes and doing makeup for a zombie beach party in Brooklyn. Because I walk down the street with a ripped wifebeater and fake peeling skin on my arm. Because I have no idea where I am in Brooklyn but I'm busy dancing with an old friend and a new one, and then climbing a ladder onto a roof and looking back at Manhattan while a brass band plays and people splash in a kiddie pool. Because I wake up with dark eye makeup all over me at 1pm, walk into my living room naked and eat breakfast while watching Return of the Jedi. And now because I'm baking a cake out of boredom and blasting punk rock through my empty house. I simply must stop having so much fun.

Now Playing: "Sister Rosetta (Capture the Spirit)" by The Noisettes

Phew

2007-06-06T16:48:00.000-04:00

This is the first time I can remember sitting still since I got home. I got back from California on a rainy Sunday night, 3 hours late, and then was up and at Veniero's at 8am to start work. That night I went to the Jones pub's 24th anniversary party with Ann and our friends Jessa and Artie (the bartender). Free keg, free BBQ buffet, good band, the perfect first real night back in the city. Ann and I stood on the streets of the East Village with our Red Stripes and later went back to her roof and caught up on our lives. Next day up again for work, where Ann and her friend came in at the end of my shift and came home with me. I met up with Ryan, saw the Pipettes (such an amazing show! When I get the time I'll write about it on Euterpe), came back and watched the moon rise over my roof, and of course went to bed at 2am because I'm smart like that. Now Ann is coming over again, seeking refuge from her mother. Hopefully I'll get a night to myself sometime soon. But for now, I couldn't be happier with life.

Now Playing: "Don't Wait Too Long" by Madeleine Peyroux

Highlights of Europe

2007-05-30T16:33:00.000-04:00

This was written as I was traveling. Enjoy.

Waking up on the train in Austria- Sure, it was kind of jarring being woken by a loud German train conductor asking for my tickets. And I’m sure I sounded pretty ridiculous when I said “No, I don’t speak German, we’re going to Vienna” and then realized that he was yelling “TICKET! TICKET!”, just with a heavy German accent. But after we woke up we realized it was 6:30 am and we were passing through mountains with farms and cottages sprinkled over them. There were cows and brooks and everything was green and gorgeous. “Where else can you find stuff like this?” I asked myself. Shoshana quickly replied “the Hamptons.”
The German Language- Bauernfleischknödel is an actual word.
Knowing my going rate- Two nights into the trip and already I get to watch someone being taken away by the cops. I was in the hostel bar with a couple guys playing backgammon, one of whom I’d met the night before and the other two new guys from Boston. I went to the bar to get change for laundry, and there’s a man sitting next to me. Backwards, inside out shirt, bad teeth, glazed eyes, very east-of-the-wall looking. He pulls me over and speaks to me in German, and after I tell him that I don’t speak German he asks in English where I was from. I said New York, and of course I get the shocked and impressed reaction I’ve kind of gotten used to. Once I get my change I quickly excuse myself and go do laundry. When I come back, he’s sitting at the table, talking to Nate in Russian (because evidently he is Russian and just was speaking German/Russian/drunk). After asking us what we study, he turns to me and tells me I am very beautiful. I’m sure I blushed as I nervously looked at Nate, and I said thank you but that I didn’t understand anything else he said. He got up and I thought that was that. Soon Ross (the guy I knew from the night before) came back, we all played more backgammon, when Russia comes back. He sits down and starts speaking to Ross, the only one of us who knew German. Soon I realize that though he is talking to Ross, he is gesturing at me, so I ask Ross what’s going on. Apparently Russia had just asked what I was to Ross. I asked him to lie and say he was my boyfriend, but he already said that. After a few more exchanges between them, Ross got up and talked to the bartenders. When he came back, he explained to me that Russia had just offered him 3000 euro to have sex with me. The bartenders came over and asked him to leave, so he got up and left, only later to come back and sit with us, again telling me I was beautiful, but this time in a much angrier way. Luckily the whole table was against him. Shoshana immediately piped up and yelled at him to leave, and as he tried to swig Nate’s beer they yelled too, while Ross stood up and tried to pull him away from the table. We got the bartenders again, and they said if he didn’t stay out we would call the cops. He dared them to, saying he would wait, so we did and he met them upstairs. And after throwing a couple punches at the police, six of them took him down. Talking to the crowd outside, we realized he had been a dick to everyone in the bar. He was trying to drink other peoples drinks and cut in on pool games and order around the bartenders. I was so thankful to have already met people who would help me out like that, but 3000 euro? Maybe I should have gone for it…
Our Walking Tour Through Munich With a Flamboyant German/Canadian/Black man- After spending the previous night in a beer hall with “awesome” (Goldberg 2007) roommates who we’d just met about an hour before, drinking liters of beer and eating way too much sausage, we woke up early and took one of the free walking tours our hostel offered. Little did we know that we’d be treated to a performance by one of the most flamboyant men we’d ever met. Ozzy was Canadian but a quarter German and moved back to the city three years ago, and had such a ridiculous passion for the city that it was contagious. He knew more about Bavarian history than I thought anyone could know. For instance, during the economic crisis before WWII, the deutschmark was so inflated that one dollar was equal to 4.2 trillion deutschmarks. We went to the church with the Devil’s footprint, saw the glockenspiel, ate pretzels in the center market and eventually made it all over the city. Once the tour was done we joined him at his favorite microbrewery, had “breakfast beer” (I love Germans) and the best white asparagus soup I’d ever had. He also decided that Shoshana should start trying to pass herself off as Natalie Portman’s cousin so we could get into fancy clubs. That night we followed his advice and went to another beer garden with ridiculous Bavarian food. Shoshana and I split ¼ a roast duck, same amount of roast pig, something called a pork saddle and a giant potato dumpling. Plus then 2 or 3 liters of beer that night. After that we hit up the Hofsbrauhaus and drank more with a huge group from our hostel, and I wound up at the hostel bar at 2am watching hockey with a bunch of Canadians. But the city was wonderful and I feel like there was almost nothing I didn’t see (besides the English Gardens, but it was rainy the next day, and our last day lead to…)
OMGZ CASTLE!- Spending a rainy and sobering day in Dachau, and then the night seeing Spiderman 3, we woke up on Friday morning with one goal in mind: castle. Ludwig II had a castle built outside of Munich in the mid 1800’s and it’s the castle that Disney uses in all their logos. We got to the town of Füssen and our jaws nearly dropped off. Alps. Alps everywhere. The mountains were so ridiculously beautiful just rising above this tiny German town. I’d never seen anything like it. We had lunch sitting on the bank of the Alpsee lake and hiked up the mountain to the castle. The walls were covered in frescoes and gilded brass chandeliers hung from the ceiling. The throne room had gold Byzantine-style paintings everywhere, and all the paintings were dedicated to Wagnerian operas. From there we hiked more to a bridge over a waterfall and saw one of the most beautiful views of the castle, the mountains and the towns and valleys below. I think dreamy might be the only word to describe it. And certainly 7-year-old Shoshana’s dream had come true. She hugged the castles a lot.
The Heineken Experience- So Shoshana and I decided to ditch our last night in Munich for one day to do whatever we wanted in Amsterdam. We got off our overnight train at 9am, put our bags in lockers, got coffee and set out on the town. Our first stop after a sophisticated breakfast of bagels over Time magazine was the Heineken Brewery. If any other brewery tour is half as involved as this one, I’ll be happy. For 11 euro we got 3 glasses of beer, a Heineken bottle opener, a virtual reality ride showing what it’s like to be a bottle and the opportunity to play drums made out of kegs. We watched Heineken commercials dating back from 1955, learned about the whole “smiling e” thing, and generally had an awesome time. Also, did you know that there was a design for a Heineken “world bottle,” where it was pretty much square shaped and the necks fit into each other, so that with glue they would work as bricks to build houses in third world countries? It never got off the ground because glass wouldn’t work for hot climates, but still, cool idea. Guinness has a lot to live up to now. And of course, after that, we proceeded to get stoned and get lost in the city for about 2 and a half hours, trying to find the Portuguese Synagogue, only to get there and find it closed because it was Saturday. At least we got to walk through the red light district, and I got stroopwafels. It was a glorious day.
Picking Up Random People in Hostels- All in all I was underwhelmed by Brussels. Sure it’s the seat of the EU, but when the only things to do are to walk around and see the pretty buildings and it’s rainy and cold, things look bleak really fast. Fortunately, when you have good company things look up. Our first morning in Brussels, after being kind of freaked out at our hostel (room smelled like feet, walls falling apart, showers in the basement) we spent the morning doing laundry and trying to figure out where to go. We started up a conversation with Neil, a Canadian tourist who had spent the previous night sleeping on a park bench. He decided to come with us to meet my upstairs neighbor Chris, who had just moved to Brussels a few weeks ago. We all met up for a beer at about noon, walked around Grand Place, ate frites and walked along all the little streets. Eventually we found Delirium, a Guinness world records bar with over 2000 different beers from all around the world. Belgian, German, African, French, even American beers (though why you’d pay 4 euro for a Coors Light in Belgium I have no idea). We had the flavored beers, my favorite being cherry, and I eventually tasted the best beer I’ve ever had. Montegnarde. If you ever find it (and we couldn’t in any more beer stores) get it in bulk. It’s incredible, and at a place where you’d think they’d jack up the prices, you could get it for 3 euro. And each beer is served in a specific glass. It was like a wine tasting. At Delirium we met two other guys traveling from America, and then that night we got back to the bar and hung out with more Canadians and a fuckton of German kids, some who are coming to New York. We al traded e-mails and have promised to send pictures over 1 euro beers that seemed to keep appearing out of nowhere. It’s just a great environment when you know everyone is the same age and in the same situation. It’s easy to make friends
Witnessing a Drug Bust- We spent the day in Brugge, the “Venice of North Europe.” It was a beautiful town, with tons of canals, old buildings, chocolate stores and cute restaurants. We ate mussels and chocolate mousse, I had the best caramel filled chocolate I’ve had in my life, and after about 5 hours of walking around we headed back on the train to Brussels. All of a sudden in Gent-St. Pieters, we stopped. No one knew why, but the Brits sitting next to us and we started to speculate. Cops were going around frantically asking which bags belonged to whom, and all of a sudden outside we saw cops running with machine guns and shields. We were scared, but figured that if there was a bomb threat they would have gotten us off the train. “I’m not dying in Belgium” voiced Shoshana, and we took silly pictures of us being scared, yelling “OMGZ BOMBTHREAT LOLZ!” Eventually we got moving again, and asked the conductor what had happened during that half hour or so period in the station. Apparently one of the passengers had been caught with a sizeable amount of cocaine. Yay drug busts. Yay Europe.
Train Ride to Barcelona- At 10pm Shoshana and I got on a train to Spain, after our wonderful day in Paris (which included two teenagers asking us “So what is this?” when we were sitting in front of the Louvre, and then hearing them respond “Oh, the Louvre…what’s that?”). We found our couchette and put in our stuff, and ran into two guys in the couchette nextdoor who would help us with our bags. They were from Texas and we started talking to them, and then the two Aussies who went into their room as well. We were fast friends. We hung out all night drinking our wine and whiskey, talking about politics, travel, music, sex, everything we possibly could. After going to bed around 3am, we all woke up at 8 to get our connecting train, and then met up again that night.
First night in Barcelona- We spent the day at the beach. Four hours, champagne and fruit, swimming in clear water and lying in the sun. After getting a nice tan we went to El Gato Negro, a shot bar around our hostel with the guys from the train, who we ran into on the beach earlier. It was ridiculous. Over 500 shots all for under two euro. Some of our favorites were the Boy Scout, which involved roasting a marshmallow over a flaming shot, and one where they set it on fire, put a glass over the shot, and then you sucked the alcohol out of the shotglass and then the vapor out of the other cup. Of course, no night out is complete without a little drama. So we get into the bar and meet up with Kevin and Daniel, the Aussies from the train. Both of them are shitfaced. I had kind of been interested in Kevin, but upon seeing how wasted he was realized that it wasn’t going to work at all. That didn’t stop him from being all over me of course. Anyway, I started talking to Daniel, who profusely apologized for our conversation the night before, because he felt like he came off bad and he didn’t want to because he was trying to impress me. He then asked me who I fancied more, and when I replied Kevin, he immediately turned into a whiny emo kid. “No! Everyone always likes Kevin! Why does everyone like Kevin? Am I fat or something?” I kid you not, he said this. Then of course he moves to Shoshana, asking her who she liked. Having only talked to them for about 10 minutes the night before, she responded neither. He again takes offense to this, saying how much he liked Shoshana and how he hated seeing her with the guy from the hostel she was sort of with that night. Kevin was still plastered, eventually making his way to the bathroom to throw up. We had no idea what to do, and Daniel disappeared. He came back about half an hour later, saying he was so upset about the rejection that he went into the alleyway next to the bar and ended up doing coke with some random guy. We went into the bathroom to check on Kevin, Daniel laughed at him, and kept asking Shoshana why she didn’t like him and what the other guy had that he didn’t. Eventually we had to put Kevin in a cab, and just sat and drank and wondered what the hell happened. At least I was told I looked sexy in a bikini, and was told this by a professional Aussie rules football player. Go figure
The Athletes- I was hit on by the point-guard for the Washington Wizards, in a Subway sandwich shop, at 3:30am, in the middle of Spain. And then woke up the next morning to find the entire London rugby team staying at my hostel. Why do they all come here?
My Hedonistic Life in Dublin- I was worried about coming to a country alone. Sure, I had been planning to travel alone before Shoshana said she wanted to come with me, but now I wasn’t sure if I could do it. I’d be spending three days in a place I’d never been before. I can be really shy and awkward and I thought that maybe I wouldn’t make friends and I’d be doomed to spend my time alone. And I was so wrong. My first night I went out with an Auissie and a girl from California, drinking cider and “talking the crack” with a bunch of Dubliners. And the next day I went out with Alice, an Aussie doctor who’s taking a year off. We went to the Dublin Writer’s Museum, where I found a copy of The Tain (the Irish epic the Decemberists wrote an 18 minute song about), then ducked into a café to keep the hail from landing on us. We realized it was a bad idea to go north. Anyway, we continued walking, and found ourselves the old Jameson Distillery. The tour was amazing. First off, at the end of every tour there is a whiskey taste testing that only 4 people are allowed to do. As soon as he asked for volunteers our hands shot up. So after learning how to make whiskey, we sat down with 3 irish whiskeys (Jameson, Paddy’s and Powers’), the best selling scotch (Johnnie Walker Red Label) and the best selling American (Jack Daniels). I never realized how much of a difference there is in taste before. Mainly cause I either mix whiskey or it’s just too strong. But all I can say is that Jack Daniels wasn’t too bad, and Red Label is way too smoky for my taste. Then we got certificates saying we were official whiskey tasters, and a glass of Jameson. We promptly went from there to the Guinness Storehouse (on the same land where Aurthur Guinness signed a 9000 year lease with the city of Dublin) and learned about beer, culminating with the gravity bar on top with a free pint. Best Guinness I’ve ever had. Actually 2^nd best. The best was that night, when I got a Guinness Extra Cold at a pub. Not sure what they do to it but it was so smooth. I sat with Alice and Ray (the girl from California) and watched a traditional Irish band play with fiddle and pipe and sing songs about the “rare oulde times.”
The Countdown- As I’m writing this last piece, I’m hovering directly over Boston. I have a little over half an hour to touchdown and I must look like an idiot because I’m smiling so much. I can make out the curve of the cape below, and even though the sign says we’re going 870 km/h I just want us to go faster. I’ve watched two movies and read a bunch about Paris, slept all I could, and the closer I get the more my life in Europe just seems like a huge blur. I woke up in Dublin today, dragged my huge bag down 2 flights of stairs and across 5 blocks of cobblestone. I had my last Guinness last night while listening to an irish cover of “No Woman No Cry,” occasionally massaging my legs because I walked nonstop for pretty much 8 hours. But now, there’s home. There’s my dad picking me up, the keys across the street, my apartment (which apparently went through a lot of changes) and my mom coming home from work tonight. I’ll show them pictures and give them their gifts. I’ll eat sushi and sleep naked in my big comfy bed. I’ll do laundry and not smell like an ashtray anymore. We’re over Mystic, CT now. I can’t wait.

Now Playing: "Le Garage" by The Futureheads (I can rebuild my iTunes now!)

Just checking in...

2007-05-26T17:43:00.000-04:00

If anyone is keeping up with this, I'm just writing to say Europe is amazing. I have a whole thing written up of my wild stories and wonderful things I've seen, which I will post when I get home. Suffice it to say for now that I'm in the hostel in Barcelona, still slightly recovering from my rendez-vous with absinthe last night, and trying to stay up until 5am when I catch a cab to the airport and then fly to Dublin. Shoshana and I have spent two and a half weeks together and not killed each other, and I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I'm coming back. I'm absolutely ready, but it's been so long that I almost don't remember how life in one place is. I've spent days trying to understand entire cities, so to go home to a place I know and find a job (cmon craigslist, help me out) amongst people who speak english just seems a bit bizarre. However, I'm sure once I touch down and see the skyline rise above the east river everything will be right again.

Now Playing: "Vindicated" by Dashboard Confessional

Orgasm cake

2007-05-07T09:14:00.000-04:00

I want to be an Italian Jew, because they invented deep fried artichokes and then made awesome chocolate ricotta cake that Wish and I sat and ate on the side of the road with our fingers because we couldn't last another minute without it inside us. It was incredible. You chosen people really know what you're doing.

So I'm saying bye now. I have finals the next few days, and then Shoshana comes, and then I have to pack and clean up and on Saturday morning I hop a train to Vienna. Two and a half weeks later I'll be in the states. I don't know how much internet I'll have, and if I do I'd rather be out wandering in the city I'm in than sitting in the hostel writing about it, but rest assured there will be wild stories when I get home.

Summing up? I loved it. There was no reason I should have freaked out because thank god none of my fears came true. I got to talk to everyone back home while making new friends and completely experiencing new things. Places, food, people, drugs (it was Amsterdam) and culture in general. I learned to bellydance, brushed up on Italian, figured out how to balance a household with someone else, found it was ok to be friends with very religious people because they don't bite, and I made carbonara. Not bad for 4 months. I'm really going to miss it. I'll miss the cheap wine and the pizza, and being able to open up my huge window and talk to my neighbors across the street. I'll miss literally tripping over ruins in the Forum.

But, I will not miss the Euro. Fuck that shit.

Now Playing: "Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa" by Vampire Weekend

"Dude, what's gonna happen when they get home and everyone from that war film I'm making is naked?"

2007-05-05T07:18:00.000-04:00

I have the most bizzare dreams. Especially after I drink half a bottle of wine and some drink involving peach vodka, real vodka, and orange-carrot-pineapple juice. Yesterday was a good day though. Studied a bit, walked to the vatican and laughed at all the religious chachkis (pope shotglasses, sparkly statues of Pieta, glow in the dark rosary beads, vatican limoncello). I got a little St. Christopher charm to go on my necklace, which is cool even though I'm not religious and he was desanctified anyway. We wandered with coconut and pineapple gelato and made delicious food for dinner and played my new mashups while talking to our friends downstairs from our window. And then yes, got drunk, only to wake up with a hangover (I forgot how that felt) and make my way back to the library to look up the Column of Antoninus Pius and various other monuments.

Also, fun facts about patron saints. The patron saint of New Orleans is Our Lady of Prompt Succor. New York is Our Lady Help of Christians. And my personal favorite, the patron saint of wandering musicians, circus workers, fiddlers, travelers looking for a bed, and murderers is Julian the Hospitaller. He's my man. Him and St. Cecilia. Oh god I've been in Rome too long. I'm adopting patron saints for myself. Help!

Now Playing: "Ne Me Quitte Pas" by Regina Spektor

Overload

2007-05-03T09:24:00.000-04:00

I think I've decided that if I have a daughter I'm going to name her Valkyrie. Or something similar in the V area of the alphabet.

I'm currently absolutely obsessed with Party Ben and am downloading everything I can of his. When did I start liking mash-ups?

And now greatest hits cause I have nothing else to say!

lub189: man, i would totally hate-fuck avril lavigne

lilsherm515: if peter pan came in through my window looking for his shadow, i would beg him to take me to Never, Neverland

Papayajaya1: whats it about?
OhGodMyLife: anthropogenic soils in the amazon basin
OhGodMyLife: and whether or not they were intentional
Papayajaya1: sexy
OhGodMyLife: i know right?
Papayajaya1: seriously, anthropogenic soils are such a turn on
Papayajaya1: i dont even know what they are, but they sound sexy
OhGodMyLife: i know, its kind of a problem, its 7:30 in the morning and my research is getting me all hot

Wish: Dude, that’s really warm…
Jaya: That’s my crotch on your crotch.
Wish: Yeah…that’s really warm.

Wish: I got it covered, G.
Jaya: But I’m J.
Wish: Hehe, if we spelled your name with a G, you’d be Gay-a!

Wish: Man, I need to hook up. How do you do it?
Jaya: Well, you know those standards you have?
Wish: Yeah?
Jaya: Get rid of them.

Papayajaya1: rie!!!
Papayajaya1: i'm at a bar!
Papayajaya1: with wireless!
Angelo di Perla: that's awesome!
Papayajaya1: hehehe
Angelo di Perla: I'm stoned, alone in jared's room watching the ITALIAN job and eating GELATO
Angelo di Perla: oh man, it was fate that I talk to you now
Papayajaya1: hahahaha yes!!!!
Papayajaya1: oh my god
Papayajaya1: so cool
Angelo di Perla: and you're at a bar, and I'm an alcoholic

lub189: hmm, i need to find a band-aid for this welt
lub189: i got in an air-soft battle with my roommate nick last night, at about 4 in the morning
lub189: and he only has a sniper rifle, which leaves fucking welts

DACE159: 1
Papayajaya1: what?
DACE159: 2
Papayajaya1: you're confusing again!
DACE159: 3
Papayajaya1: seven
DACE159: 4
Papayajaya1: ...
DACE159: 5
Papayajaya1: i hate you
DACE159: 6
Papayajaya1: what are you doing?
DACE159: seeing how high i can count before you ask what i'm doing

lub189: jaya, this is the internet
lub189: i don't even remember how is started the sentence i'm typing right now

Papayajaya1: god damn it do they ever stop ringing churchbells in this country!?
lub189: because it's italy
lub189: that's all they do
lub189: church, church, food, church, wine, food, church
lub189: soccer, church, food
lub189: every so often, they stop going to church to die in a volcano

Jaya: Yeah, so in the brothels in Pompei they had pictures of the specialties over the door..
Chester: It’s a picture menu! It’s like Denny’s! I’ll have the Grand Slam!

Jaya: (to Chester, after he comes in from the rain) Oh my god, you’re wet!
Wish: (to Chester) Shouldn’t you be the one saying that to her?
Chester: What, you mean about her vagina?

Jaya: ( In the crypts) I feel like I should be creeped out, but I’m not, and that’s kind of creepy in itself.
Chester: Yeah, but it’s so abstract. It’s like Disneyland…only…not.

Chester: Go jizz on a brioche.

(Reading one morning…)
Wish: I want a boyfriend who will buy me pretty designer shoes, especially when we’re fighting.
Jaya: Well…I want a boyfriend who will…”grapple with the buttons of my trousers, then slip his quivering hand between my legs, cupping the warm and dewy flesh”
Wish: Oh yeah? Well I want a boyfriend who will “undertake all frog dissection duties”

espritdescalier9: just get drunk and have good sex
espritdescalier9: and on that note
espritdescalier9: i am taking a shower
espritdescalier9: and going to the library

DACE159: lou who?
Papayajaya1: he works with my mom
Papayajaya1: and is here fo ra few days with his partner
DACE159: i remember
DACE159: i mainly just wanted to rhyme

Tritogeniae: yay! i win the "lets scare the pants of jaya game" today!

Papayajaya1: plus i hate this whole "hate crime" thing
Papayajaya1: if someone shoots someone else, it's murder. it doesn't matter if one is black or one is white. drawing attention to that just makes the race thing more prominent
dizzyg31: see that's the thing i hate people for who they are on the inside

lilsherm515: haha i can see it now: the news is fillled with stories about the masked person with scissors who runs through the streets of rome destroyin mullets and improving the overall appearance of italian men

Papayajaya1: How do I pick up guys in bars?
lub189: What?
lub189: no, you don’t pick up guys
lub189: next you’ll be wanting the vote

EmilyLikeWhoaa: i wish id packed a sandwich when going to bed

Now Playing: "Pump Up the Doorbell" by Party Ben (Eric B. & Rakim vs. White Stripes)

Revelations

2007-05-02T05:05:00.000-04:00

I wrote this two nights ago for no real reason. I'm kind of proud though. Have at.

I’ve realized that finals suck in every language. People get stressed and everyone expresses it in a different way. Some go out and drink every night. Some get angry at everyone around them. Some retreat into their heads and cut themselves off from their friends until the hell is over and life returns to normal. I express elements of each. For example, I just finished typing up Art History notes and am sipping my 2^nd glass of wine and listening to Flogging Molly. This morning I got to the library early to answer sample essay questions and didn’t let myself look at anything but notes and handouts until about three hours in, when I realized my brain was going to melt if I continued. And every once in a while I’ll get frustrated and punch a wall, just for fun, and when the swelling goes down I’ll return to typing. For the most part I learn new songs on the guitar. Yet the very existence of this piece is showing me that somewhere along the line writing became a stress reliever, and trying to pinpoint that moment is proving difficult.

I was never one to keep a diary. My roommate has a beautiful leather bound journal and a collection of fountain pens and various inks, with which she writes the happenings of her travels and thoughts. I briefly flirted with the idea of personal memoirs at summer camp when I was 11, but soon realized that a) it was too hard because my diary was crappy and all the pages kept falling out, and b) it sounded more like a newspaper article than anything meaningful. I would write what I had for lunch and who I sat with everyday, and some vague feelings or events that had taken place (a boy I liked talking- or more likely not talking- to me, another girl pissing me off, a band I liked, etc). I guess I thought that I would look back and, by remembering exactly what I had for lunch, remember the day perfectly. I don’t remember a good three quarters of the girls I hung out with, and my eating habits were pretty boring.

My next affair with language came after I started learning guitar, and had the everlasting 14-year-old-fantasy of becoming a rock star. I found another notebook of mine covered in stickers and filled with ideas of lyrics. There was something about a mundane Monday and valentines rolling across the floor and other really bad images that are pretty painful to read now. In the end I only wrote one decent song that still gets stuck in my head occasionally. It had three chords, modulated keys at the chorus, had edgy and original rhymes such as night-right and feel-deal, and was of course about my first love. After that I pretty much realized that if I were to be writing anything, I should probably stick to prose.

That didn’t last too long, as senior year of high school I took an American Poetry class that required me to write my own stuff. I had never really written anything but school essays before (save for one short story when I was about seven about a girl with divorced parents, but let’s not go there), but apparently when forced to emulate someone else’s poetry style, I developed my own voice. Evidentially I had an experimental use of punctuation and a mischievous sense of humor. Guitar still remained my main stress reliever. I would lock myself in my room for hours learning new songs, or playing with my own melodies along with effects on my fender. To this day if I have time alone I’ll play and sing as loud as I possibly can until the dents on my fingers are hurting and my throat is sore. But somewhere that year I at least developed an appreciation for good writing, poetry or otherwise. My mom would point out pieces in magazines by her coworkers that were particularly good, and I became amazed with how words are put together. Why choose one adjective out of the thousands out there? What makes something “captivating” but not “enchanting”? Or “gruesome” but not “macabre”? Who knows all these words anyway?

Next step: the magical world of the internet. All my friends had blogs by the time we graduated, so I figured I should get one just to keep in touch if we couldn’t talk every day. Again, looking back on my earlier writing sometimes makes me cringe, but I’ve kept a pretty steady voice through the whole thing. And all of a sudden, I enjoyed writing. I enjoyed turning the happenings of my day into a story with characters and tension and a climactic resolution. I enjoyed telling jokes and playing with cacophonous words (like cacophonous). Discovering this vocabulary made me feel like an adult, even if no one read it besides my friends.

It only seemed natural that I would then combine my obsession for music and my inadvertent stumbling into writing into Euterpe. I had opinions, I had a record collection, and I could put them together! Now instead of writing my own stories whenever I felt like it, I gave myself rough deadlines and actively searched for things to write about. I found good and bad albums, from different genres and time periods, and challenged myself. And I like it. I like looking back on a piece and realizing that my opinions are no longer fanatic ramblings but cohesive arguments. I’m still reluctant to admit this, because that means I’m admitting to growing up and wanting a career and committing myself to pursuing something, but I wouldn’t mind doing this for real. Not just the website, but convincing someone to pay me for my mostly self-honed skill. Obviously I need more practice, and am way behind all those kids who have been busting their asses at their school newspapers since they could type “Hed TK,” but I actually see something here that I enjoy and that could possibly be lucrative. Of course I still have my fantasies of saving up money and opening my own music club, but I’m seeing something before me. I’d get an internship, write the shit pieces they gave me, prove myself and move up. I’d end up being one of the top reporters for a music magazine or local newspaper, and move on to be the next Hunter S. Thompson or P.J. O’Rourke and mix politics with pop culture until compilations of my cuttingly-witty-yet-sophisticated essays are selling by the thousands. Or maybe I’ll do something completely different. All I know is that I just wrote two pages, single spaced on a complete whim, and I’m definitely not as stressed about finals as I was when I started.

Now Playing: "Every Car You Chase" by Party Ben

"So yeah, we don't really like Hilary Clinton because she keeps saying stuff like...I AM EUROHAND!"

2007-04-30T08:31:00.000-04:00

I get distracted by shiny stuff way too easily. So Wish's friend Shanna was here for the weekend and it was an awesome time. Friday I felt like a Tulane student again. Pregaming in the house, out to an expat bar with lots of frat-ish type boys to mess with, then out dancing with people we met that night until about 5am and woke up hungover at around 1:30 the next day. We walked around the city and went out to dinner and yesterday watched the Rome-Lazio game and it was a great time.

Now finals are coming and I'm not happy. I've been typing up notes all morning but I think that if I hear the names Hadrian or Marcus Aurelius one more time I'm going to go fucking crazy. I've hit the point, at least for today, where I've exhausted a subject. Any more information would just be overload. Finals really suck in every country, and at this point I just want to be home again. Or traveling. Or not doing work. Tomorrow we have the day off but I'm pretty sure I'll just be sitting at my desk typing politics notes, or more art history stuff, and then contemplating jumping out of my window. Fun times.

I wanna go to the beach again.

Now Playing: "Sultans of Swing" by Dire Straits

Lovely

2007-04-26T08:40:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I had a pretty perfect day. We had the day off for Italian Liberation (the day the Nazi's left their occupation in Milan in 1945) so we decided there was no better day to go to the beach. It was me, Wish, Sadie, Kim, Ester and Gina, and we all met at Trastevere station with picnic gear and got on the train. Only half an hour later we were at Santa Marinella. For some reason there was techno music blasting across the beach and EVERYONE was out. We found a spot and I sunbathed while switching off reading Cosmo and The Economist (I'm classy) before jumping into the water. I could see my toes. That doesn't happen at Coney Island. We had wine and sandwiches and made fun of the men wearing speedos and the women wearing thongs. And in general we just did nothing.

After evading fines on the train back Wish and I went home and watched Reality Bites. Watching Ethan Hawke did not make our sexual frustration any easier to deal with. But then we met the girls for amazing pizza and a nutella calzone. Yes, nutella and ricotta calzone. So delicious.

I think one of the strangest things about coming home again will be the food. There are things in my kitchen that I normally wouldn’t have at home. There’s prosciutto instead of slices of ham. Our peanut butter is overpriced and German instead of creamy and American. Our bread is solid and crusty instead of sliced in a compact loaf. There are blood oranges, foreign cheeses and a collection of Kinder egg toys. Pasta costs 25 centini a bag. Coffee is made in a stovetop boiler instead of an automatic machine. There’s lemon soda instead of Sprite or lemonade. And for some reason these things make me realize that I’m in a different country more than the language does.

I'll come back to a full sized fridge and an oven, a foreman grill and a stand up mixer. I'll have a dishwasher and a garbage disposal. I'll have spices from other countries instead of just italian ones. I'll have shrimp curry, sushi, mac and cheese, burgers, milkshakes, bagels, burritos and dumplings. But I won't have nutella calzones. Nutella on eggos will just have to do.

Yesterday I saw a little Italian girl trying to kiss a little Italian boy on the cheek as he pushed her away. She found this amusing, and kept trying as he fought her off. I guess cooties exist everywhere.

Tonight I'm going to a concert of a Rush cover band, because one of the guys in it is Wish's professor. Finally live music!

Now Playing: "Take Me Home Tonight" by Eddie Money

"CALL IT!"

2007-04-24T07:18:00.000-04:00

I miss baseball. To the point where Wish and I watched Major League and were yelling at the screen like it was a real game. Lame. Ok so English paper is done, applying for scholarships, beach tomorrow probably, made a playlist of songs that make me feel sexy but it's definitely not complete. I've realized that every once in a while there will be a combination of two songs that, listened to one after another, make me nearly have an orgasm. Led Zeppelins "Whole Lotta Love" and then "Black Dog," Rolling Stones "Beast of Burden" and "Don't Stop" and Prince's "Cream" and "Gett Off" are the ones I can think of right now. Or really, anything by Prince.

Wow that was a lot of thoughts for one paragraph. Anyway, school is winding down, and I kind of can't wait. I love Rome, but John Cabot takes itself way too seriously and I've just kind of given up on classes. Sure, I'm a fan of not having to work hard, but it just gets boring sometimes. I'm barely putting any effort into my work and I'm getting good grades. It's either that or professors giving such vague descriptions of what they want that no one in the class can give an adequate performance. I'm worried about my Politics final because of that. He never gives us any important terms or people to remember, or any idea of what he expects us to know. Hopefully there will be some massive study session. But then, two days after my politics final I leave for Vienna...if I can figure out the trains. And then it's Vienna, Munich, Brussels, Barcelona and Dublin. Anyone know any cool things to do in those cities?

Now Playing: "Cream" by Prince (hehe)

"Pannini time now!"

2007-04-19T08:56:00.000-04:00

So the week with Chester and his friend Schwartz has been fantastic. We've eaten well and made silly videos while playing guitar and singing (most likely to be posted at some point) and in general it's reminded me once again that I have good tastes in friends. As conversations have revealed, this is not the same case with hookups, but you can't win 'em all. But just realizing how smart and cool and talented we all are over wine and carbonara makes me happy.

It's funny thinking about where my Buck's Rock friends were when I met them. Whatever personal changes happened, everyone became less awkward. I think we all met each other right at that age when puberty hits and you're confused and shy, and middle school only makes it worse because we were the ones who were even weirder than normal. And we found each other. And found it was ok to be weird. And encouraged each others interests and found what we were into and now I'm trying to go into music journalism and Chester is moving to LA to be a screenwriter and Jon is going to teach or something. And somehow Matt's welding shit together in sculpture translated into engineering, which I guess makes sense, but it seems like a lot of us found whatever it is that helps define us there. Forgive me for being nostalgic. I'm totally living in the moment, but it's nice realizing how far we've all come, but how true we've all stayed to ourselves. And also that with all this changing we've always had room for each other.

Now Playing: "I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off [Me & You]" by Fall Out Boy

"So has anyone ever, like, died from Vesuvius?"

2007-04-16T10:21:00.000-04:00

Verbatim girl on my Pompei trip. After we had been to Pompei. Fantastic.
So the weekend was fabulous. First, I locked myself out of my apartment, with no wallet or cell phone either. I made the school run around trying to find their spare set, only to realize they didn't have them. So I broke into my apartment. I did the credit card trick and got in in 20 seconds. Kind of scary realizing that it was that easy, but holy crap I'm so badass.

I'm bolting my door from now on though.

And then Sunday I was up at the crack of 6 to go to Pompei! After a 3 hour bus ride we were there, and had a fantastic private tour of the city. It reminded me a lot of New Orleans. Bars everywhere, brothels, gambling with loaded dice. It was great. And we had lunch and I made friends with some cool kids, got gelato, and then took the bus over to Vesuvius where we hiked to the top. It wasn't that bad of a hike, though my ass definitely hurt this morning, but oh my god the view from the top was amazing. We saw the Bay of Naples, and Capri, and then could look down into the crater of the volcano and see smoke coming out. I found a way to climb away from the set path so I could sit on a ledge without a fence and just look out onto the sea. The sun was sparkling off the water and there was nothing in between me and the wind and the city below. I think it was one my favorite moments since I've been here.

And we cracked on the way home and the entire bus ended up singing along to the disco hits CD that was playing. And I came home to Matthew Chester being his normal silly self, and we made dinner and went out to a hookah bar and slept. Tomorrow is Wish's birthday and I don't have much work to do until the weekend, so this looks to be a pretty relaxing week. And it's warm, and sunny, and I'm wearing my new skirt.

In other news, can anyone tell me if anyone I know has drowned in the floods? Because New Jersey is under a state of emergency and I'm kind of worried...

Now Playing: "When You Were a Starlight" by Team9

Hi!!!!!!!!!!

2007-04-13T16:08:00.000-04:00

I'm on wireless...

at a bar...

on my 4th drink...

after spending the day making french toast and REAL bacon with REAL maple syrup, and then buying new shoes and walking to the spanish steps where they had the spring flowers up, and coming home and watching He-Man before heading out to the just-strong-enough vodka and lemon's, and now on a pint of Peroni.

and I updated Euterpe

and everything is perfect.

Now Playing: "It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over" by Lenny Kravitz (playing at the bar, I have no control, though it's a catchy song)

Planning

2007-04-11T09:55:00.000-04:00

After a bit of a wrestle with the registrar, I had to send my mom a two paragraph long email explaining my current academic situation to reassure myself that it's ok that I'm only signed up for 9 credits as of now, 12 after my professor approves me for an honors class (stupid GPA being .06 behind honors), and that 12 might be all I get because you need instructor approval for music classes and I'm dropping my music minor anyway because none of the classes they require match up with what I would want to do with a music minor. And I bet from that run on it's hard to tell that I'm an english major. But if I only sign up for 12 credits it's fine because I only need 25 more to graduate, so another semester with 12 wouldn't put me behind at all. So I'll be fine. Right?...right?

Stupid registrar.

Anyway, had class at the Pantheon. Layed out in the sun on the fountain across from it, reading my new book and being all excited that spring is here. This weekend I'll work on papers and stuff, and on Sunday I go to Pompeii, and by the time I get back Chester will be here for the week!!

Now Playing: "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" by Neutral Milk Hotel

"I just thought it was because she liked mustache rides..."

2007-04-08T09:08:00.000-04:00

Buona pasqua! School is shut down all weekend which means no internet unless I go to an internet cafe (like I'm at now), but horray for technology! This weekend was amazing. Friday Wish's family and I all went to Hadrian's Villa in Tivoli. It was gorgeous. I spent the entire time walking around wondering what it would have been like to just create something like this for yourself. That or listening to Wish's sisters iPod. Yesterday we went shopping (where I got half of the amazing outfit I'm wearing today), and then to the Villa Borghese. Again, lots of money = crazy fucking houses. I want a Bernini statue in my dining room. And then of course another huge dinner last night where I got home at 12:30 feeling like my stomach was going to explode.

We were going to go to church this morning (what? Jaya voluntarily going to church?) to see our friend Jen sing, but she never got back to us on how to get there, so we slept in instead. I couldn't sleep in much. It was too beautiful to stay inside. So I put on my Sunday best. Sunday best meaning the outfit that I channeled my inner 5 year old to wear: Red shirt, new white skirt, green and gold flats, army green baseball cap, amber ring given to me by Wish's mom, and my new compass necklace. I'm so happy with the compass necklace. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love maps and directions and astronomy and stuff like that. It's a little compass with a dolphin (the way home) and a fleur-de-lis as the north point. I'm never taking it off. Anyway, so I put on my Sunday best and headed out, expecting to find a deserted city because everyone would be in church.

Boy was I wrong.

If there's anything Italians love more than Jesus, it's tourism. Everyone was out in the streets. Restaurants are open and serving alcohol (unlike the day the Roma-ManU game happened vendors has their rings and scarves and headbands on the street, and everyone has gelato. It's a perfect day in Rome.

Maybe I'll go to the beach tomorrow, just to make everything complete.

Now Playing: "I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight" by Cutting Crew

"Jaya, you're wasted, give me your keys"

2007-04-04T10:09:00.000-04:00

Wish's mom and siblings are in for the week, so the food is wonderful and the liquor is flowing and life is really good. Sure I'm feeling kinda sick today and am sitting in the library trying to work on my baths of Caracalla paper, desperately using any strategy I have to make it longer (good tip, replace all your periods with size 14 periods. You really can't tell the difference and it makes the paper a lot longer). But I had bellydancing last night, again never failing to make me feel sexy, and then dinner and drinks out for the fourth time this week. Tonight we're making dinner for her family, so that should be fun.

Oh, interesting cultural difference. Today is the Roma-ManU game, and everyone is excited. So Wish and I go to get groceries for dinner, and in both stores we go to the liquor section is taped off. At first we thought they might have lost their liquor license, but it was because of the game. They're not selling alcohol, by government mandate, until noon tomorrow because they don't want people being drunk for the game. It makes sense, considering all the deaths that have happened this year, and that two of them were in Italy, but still it was so bizarre seeing that.

I was reading Mark Twain for class. In Innocents Abroad he tells the story of a group of American tourists going around Europe, who end up fucking with their Guide a lot and generally embodying all the stupid American stereotypes that existed even then. I've gotten a lot of those questions and reactions to being here, and I don't think I've ever been upset about it until now. First off, I live in one of the tourist capitals of the world, and lord knows I've had to deal with my fair share of drunk, loud European tourists in my neighborhood, thinking that America is just an all day party center. But isn't that what American students usually think Europe is? We constantly have to be on our best behavior, lest someone think we're uncultured foreigners here to drink all their wine and not appreciate their art. The road goes both ways, and until Italy, and all of Europe, can say that absolutely nothing is wrong and corrupt with their government and can easily navigate the streets of Manhattan, I don't think I should have to be a perfect citizen either. Of course I don't think I'm better than anyone here, but I don't think I'm worse either. I'll help tourists in New York, and try to not disrespect them too much (maybe silently, but not to their face). And if I do that, I should expect the same treatment, not an automatic assumption that I'm ignorant and wasteful. Everyone wants to travel, everyone is going to have a hard time in a new place, and everyone is allowed to let loose once in a while. If it's not seen as a bad thing for a European to do that in America, it shouldn't be bad when it's the other way around.

Sorry, having to defend myself and my country has kind of put me into a relatively patriotic mood, which I'm enjoying. Because for all it's flaws and all my issues with it, it's home and will always be home. I don't think I'm one of those Americans who's ever going to completely leave. LK has her Paris, and Wish will find her ancient ruins in some little villa over here, but I have my New York and my NOLA and it's home. Maybe I haven't tried hard enough, or I just haven't found any Italians here that I really hang out with (it's hard at an American school), but if home is where your heart is, and my heart is with my friends and family, then my heart is in America. I want to keep travelling, and I love it here. I'm ridiculously happy in Italy and in many ways I really don't want to ever leave, but I know that the second I touch down at JFK I'll be kissing the Brooklyn ground and singing to myself as the Empire State building rises over the skyline on the cab ride home. I guess I've just added a third city to my life, where I can be happy here or in NY or NOLA, but not missing one or the other when I leave.

And now I get to go home to my apartment above a wine bar, walk with my fresh bought groceries across the neighborhood to Wish's moms apartment, cook while drinking wine and eating cheese we bought in Tuscany, and then probably walk home slightly drunk through the piazza, past the pescheria and the flower shop and our local gelato place to sleep in my too small bed, staring at my old wooden ceiling and wonder how I got this lucky.

Now Playing: "Apology Song" by The Decemberists

P.S. I updated Euterpe again, and now the floodgates have been opened to buying music off iTunes and my bank account will not be happy.

Italy's Greatest Hits!

2007-04-01T09:59:00.000-04:00

Because even in other countries my friends are funny.

angelo di perla: I don't think sex will be your main concern on shrooms
angelo di perla: more like, your viscosity

lub189: i can mail you some american pie with american cheese on top
lub189: on a bed of baseballs
lub189: and freedom

papayajaya1: grr why did he have to speak while i wasnt there!?!?!
OhGodMyLife: because mars passed through the house of jupiter, and neptune was aligned with venus
papayajaya1: ...
papayajaya1: wow
papayajaya1: just...wow
OhGodMyLife: either that or just bad luck, but i'm sticking with astrology

papayajaya1: i miss the days where i look normal without tons of accessories and heels
DACE159: me too

Tritogeniae: ten bucks says youre talking to matt and not doing Hemmingway

lub189: I’m like a box of kittens dipped in chocolate
lub189: and you’re like a rainbow that someone threw at a unicorn*

*Aristic Representation:

lub189: I’m losing it
lub189: like, for real
lub189: I ordered a vanilla sandwich at dunkin’ donuts

dizzyg31: besides.....boobies are like jello
Papayajaya1: jello?
dizzyg31: there's always room

EmilyLikeWhoaa: I SHOULD NOT BE ATTRACTED TO STEVE MARTIN JUST BECAUSE HES PLAYING BANJO
EmilyLikeWhoaa: THIS IS SO WRONG

(about me)
dizzyg31: nah, she's got some intelligent DNA in her head
dizzyg31: ......assuming she doesn't spit it out afterward

Wish: Oh wait, we forgot! (refills wine glasses)
Jaya: What are we doing?
Wish: Well, we got distracted by chocolate.
Jaya: Right, if we’re going to interrupt wine for anything, it should be chocolate
In Unison: Or Sex.

Now Playing: "Photobooth" by Death Cab for Cutie

Sweet Pseudo-Relief

2007-03-29T06:15:00.000-04:00

In the library I'm connected to everyone elses Itunes, and I just found one that has a nearly complete collection of Ryan Adams, including quite possibly one of my favorite albums of all time, Pneumonia by Whiskeytown. If only OurTunes worked life would be so much better, but I guess I just have to spend even more time in the library now, immediately being carted back to wandering the summer streets at night in the East Village no matter which song I put on.

Now Playing: "Don't Wanna Know Why" by Whiskeytown (the song that still means so much to me because of this)

Update- And even after all these years, "Under Your Breath" still makes me stop whatever I'm doing and just sit and listen.

“For the umpteenth time this trip, it’s like God came in my mouth”

2007-03-26T05:53:00.000-04:00

And now I shall recount to you, the loyal reader, a day by day description of my spring break across Europe.

March 16^th- We wake up at 7am and make ourselves a bowl of cereal before putting on our backpacks and heading out to the bus. We get to Termini station to find the first McDonalds in Rome we’ve seen that has breakfast. There was much rejoicing. However, as I go to take out my wallet my camera falls to the floor and breaks. There was not much rejoicing. So any pictures you see will probably be provided by Wish. Anyway, we get egg mcmuffins and hash browns and get to the plane. After sleeping on the plane we get into Gatwick airport and spend 4 hours fucking around there. We bought at least 10 pounds worth of Cadbury candy and get starbucks (ok we hate starbucks but we haven’t seen one in ages…it was nostalgic). Then off to Amsterdam. We get in and realize that the girl we’re staying with, a friend of a friend of Wish’s, doesn’t have our numbers and doesn’t know what we look like. We panic. Luckily she found us and we took the train to Haarlem, a town about 10 minutes outside of Amsterdam where we spent most of our time. It was beautiful. It was like a mini Amsterdam, with cobblestone streets and bike paths and yes, coffee shops. We stopped in one on the way home called “High Times” and Tim bought the strongest weed he could, and was really excited because there’s usually only hash around Europe. We go back, settle in and are introduced to stroopwafels. Stroop is this kind of molasses, honey, sugar cane syrup, and when placed between two wafer thin waffles, it’s like God came in your mouth. I guess that was the second time I made that excalamation this trip, the first being when I had a Cadbury crème egg in the London airport, but it seemed like at pretty much every meal God came in my mouth. Once we settled in I looked around and realized we were in a drug den. Seriously, remember what your middle school teachers used to teach you about? Where everyone is dirty and sitting around a low coffee table and smoking and drinking and in general sinning? That’s where we were staying. There were half rolled joints and loose tobacco covering the table, as well as plenty of beer and even a mutilated Barbie doll with a razor for a head. So we sit around and smoke and talk about the meaning of life before passing out.

March 17^th- We’re awoken by Deb’s dad coming in around 9:30 and immediately lighting up a cigarette. People in Holland smoke more than just about anyone. Eventually everyone is awake. Everyone meaning Deb, her girlfriend Ellen, her dad and this kid Chris, who was one of the strangest people I’ve ever met. I think the only way to describe him is that he’s like an overgrown six year old. He needs constant attention and overreacts to everything and uses everyone for what he wants. Case in point, Tim bought 3 packs of whippets and Chris took two of them without even paying. Once while we were staying there, he fell down the stairs and hurt his ankle. Of course that hurt, but he was writhing on the floor in pain and cursing and crawling to the couch. He claimed to have been hallucinating from the pain, but considering he kept walking on it and also he’s a GHB addict I don’t think he’s the most reliable source. So we kind of ignore him and all get up and head into town. We buy warm stroopwafels at the local market and get groceries for dinner, frites with mayonnaise and brownie mix. It was Tim’s goal for the trip to eat as much space cake at once as he could, so we decided to make it ourselves. A goodly amount of weed and hash later and they were done, and ready to go on our nature hike. We head out to the dunes near the North Sea and go walking through the forest, which was beautiful. However, we have the brilliant idea of eating the space cake beforehand. So here’s how it went down. Wish and I each had a piece about 1”x2”. Not that big, about a third of a normal piece. Tim ate about six times that. We had no idea what we were in for.
For a while we were walking and watching the sun set over the dunes and the mountains and it was absolutely beautiful. One of the girls we were with brought out her cell phone and started playing songs she had downloaded on there. We started with Regina Spektor’s “Fidelity,” but the ultimate experience was walking through the fields at the perfect level of being high listening to Johnny Cash sing “One” as the sun set over the hills. Tim seemed to be having a good time with his sunglasses on listening to Pink Floyd. However, things went bad. That perfect level of being stoned all of a sudden turned into being too stoned. I didn’t know it was possible to be this stoned. We were tripping on THC. We stopped at a picnic bench and Deb and I ran over to pet wild horses (yes, wild, they still make them) while everyone sat and chatted. I got back and realized that I couldn’t pay attention to anything. I would have to concentrate to pay attention to anything around me, and then even the ability to do that went away. I would see things, and they would remind me of something else I’d seen, and then I’d think I was in that other place. At various points I thought I was in Cape May, Maine, Colorado, New Mexico and Tatooine. Yeah, I had a Star Wars trip on space cake. Oy. I also ended up thinking I was walking down a hallway and all the nature around me was a mural painted on the walls, and then I compared my mind to Benjy from The Sound and the Fury and thought “Huh, this is what it must feel like to be mentally retarded.” And I couldn’t stop. Normally I can snap myself out of whatever state I’m in, at least for a couple seconds, but with this I just had to let my mind go where it went. It was cold and windy and we finally made it to the bus, and by the time we got back into Haarlem I was sobering up. Not so for Tim, who ended up being that stoned for a good 26 hours. We made dinner and Tim fell asleep, but we weren’t tired yet, so we decided to do the shrooms I had bought that day. We made them in tomato soup and went upstairs to Deb’s room and ate it while playing Sonic 2 on her XBOX. I only had about half of what the normal dose is, so I didn’t really feel anything, though at one point the flowers on Deb’s duvet were pulsating. We also became very involved with Sonic. Tails is totally a ginger nancy fuck. We get to bed around 5am.

March 18^th- We woke up around noon and Tim is still stoned, especially after lighting up another joint. We decide today is the day we finally make it into Amsterdam. We go to the Anne Frank house, which was incredible. There was one quote on the wall that said something along the lines of how it's good that we only have one diary, because if we heard everyone's voice and everyone's story, it would be too much to handle. Even just one story was hard enough to see, especially when we heard the story of her father getting her diary after being the only surviving member of the family after the holocaust. We left feeling very appreciative of our lives. We met up with Deb and Ellen and had bagels and lox (joy of joys) at a little café. We tried to book it to the Van Gogh museum, but since it’s Sunday it closes earlier than normal and we just miss it. Dejected and cold and wet from the hail we head into a little pub and chill there for a while. We end up taking a walk through the Red Light District, Wish gets her ears stretched more, and we all head back pretty tired from everything. We make dutch pancakes for dinner and hang out and take a nap, because we had to be up at around 5am for our flight.

March 19^th- We get up early and head to the airport. After another early flight and another 6 hour layover in London (complete with more Cadbury candy, bagels, lamb & mint flavored potato chips, and a very suspicious customs lady) we arrive in Paris and take the train to Liz’s dorm. I swear, the moment we landed in Paris I got “La Valse D’amelie” stuck in my head. Frankie was right, Paris is really exactly what you think of it as. It’s old and romantic and absolutely beautiful. We settle in for dinner at the dorms and drink wine with all our Tulane friends and hear about their spring break trips before cuddling up into a big air mattress and crashing.

March 20^th- Liz and I wake up at around 7:30 to go for a morning run, and pick up pain au chocolat for breakfast. We wake up and head out, first stopping on the island for Notre Dame. I personally think it’s more awe-inspiring from the outside, but it was really gorgeous. Then we met up with LK!! I missed her so much, and seeing her walk up to me she really looked like a Parisienne. She was fashionable and confident and more beautiful than I remembered her. We got omlettes and walked around Paris and went shopping with her for a couple hours before going back to the dorms, picking up wine, and then heading out for a fondue dinner. It was delicious, especially with some of the best chocolate mousse I’ve ever had for dessert. Our dinner conversation consisted a lot of current events, comparing WWII to Rome to Iraq. Another American couple in the restaurant overheard us, and as we were leaving struck up a conversation. Apparently the woman’s husband was in WWII, in Patton’s army, and has a picture of Patton pissing in the Rhine. That made my night. LK came over to the dorms and we drank wine and Belgian beer and played Never Have I Ever and this time Tim, LK and I smushed into the bed.

March 21^st- Tourism! Wish and Tim and I wake up early and head to the Louvre. Yes, the Mona Lisa is overrated, but a lot of the other stuff in it is really beautiful. Especially this exhibit they had on Sacred Armenia, full of illuminated texts and jeweled staffs and everything. Also, can I have Louis XV’s crown? Or just those giant sapphire and diamond necklaces? Ok cool thanks. We were exhausted after the Louvre and cranky, hungry Jaya started to emerge, so we booked it to a McDo and got ourselves Royale’s w/cheese. Oh yeah. And then got crepes afterwards and headed to the George Pompidou museum. I don’t know why modern art has always affected me more than any other style, but it has. We were having this conversation a lot, about why some pieces affect you more than others, and how there’s really no rhyme or reason to it. I mean, Matisse is one of my favorite artists, and yet some of his stuff I find more beautiful than others. I like early Picasso but not so much later. I’m not a huge Rothko fan but every once in a while I can find something of his beautiful. And why do I like Man Ray but not DuChamp? Or Calder and not Miro? Or usually prefer painting to sculpture? It never makes much sense, but there’s always something that hits you with a piece you really love. We all had yet to figure out what that was. But I orgasmed from Matisse and then the Sameul Beckett exhibit. They had a bunch of his manuscripts and videos of plays of his, including a version of “Play” with Alan Rickman in it. I think my favorite moment was seeing a production of “Quad” (a play that we did at my camp) projected onto the floor, and seeing a little girl running around trying to follow the actors moving on stage. Something about that just stuck with me. No matter how serious you want your art to be, a little girl can find it funny. But Beckett seemed to be a guy who had a sense of humor about himself, especially since one of his pieces was called “Man Walking In An Exaggerated Manner Around The Perimiter of a Rectangle” and was a video of just that. We left extremely satisfied and picked up Desperados on the way home to make fajitas with Sarah and friends. I miss Mexican food. Later that night we met up with Deb and Wish’s friend Sar, who were in from Amsterdam. We met them and went to an absinthe bar in Montmartre, and did the full routine full with sugar cubes, pretty slotted spoons, fire and water. I got to talk music and sex and life and it ended with getting food at around 3am and cabbing it home.

March 22^nd- We wake up early to meet Sar at Pere Lachaise, the famous cemetery with Jim Morrison, Gertrude Stein, Edith Piaf and the like. We walk around taking pictures of the beautiful masoleums and contemplate what we want our funerals to be like. Mine? I’m having my ashes thrown off a rooftop in NYC (maybe with some scattered in the Mississippi later on) with a brass band playing “When The Saints Go Marching” and then making sure fried chicken is provided and no one is mourning me but everyone is happy to have known me. We get hot chocolate before meeting Liz and Wish’s friend Kat at the Eiffel Tower. Now that is one monument that is certainly not overrated. It’s way bigger than I thought it would be, and with the sun finally breaking through it just stood before a backdrop of blue and white like the shrine to culture it should be. Before climbing up we get lunch and I try escargot, which were amazing, and steak tartare, which tasted like a very mustardy and vinegary raw hamburger. But then there were profiteroles for dessert and I was happy. So we cross the Seine and begin the climb. Now the Duomo in Florence has 463 stairs to the top, which at the time we thought was a ridiculous climb. Not so. To the 2^nd platform of the Eiffel tower, it’s 668 steps. It hurt, but was totally worth it, especially reading the plaques on the way up and realizing that some crazy Frenchman once rode a motorcycle down. The view was gorgeous, and we let the wind blow through our hair while looking out onto the city. After a while we walked down, and Tim went his way to the Luxembourg Gardens while the girls went shopping. After dropping off stuff and chilling for a while, we went to meet LK on the steps of the Sacre Coeur and had a dinner of wine, baguettes, camembert and chevre cheeses. Of course our night was not complete without some ridiculous antics. Some drunk guy on the steps started coming up and trying to talk to us, and LK politely (and then not so politely) tried to tell him to go away. Of course he wanted a fight, and started yelling “Nic ta mere! Nic ta mere! No no no no, nic toi! Nic toi!” Two other French men sitting by us heard this and came up and tried to pull him away, and he started struggling against them, to the point where he broke free and fell on top of us, almost breaking one of our bottles of wine. Later he came back and tried to steal Wish's purse. Luckily the other men were nice and sat and talked with us as we finished our dinner and LK, Tim, Kat and I headed to a club. This was a ridiculous dance club. Two levels, techno and hip hop music, kids from nearly every country were there. And we just danced. At one point there was a 4 song run where they played AC/DC, Queen, Joan Jett and the Jackson 5 back to back and I was hoping that would continue, but it went back to the eurotechno which was still fun. Around 2am we realized we did have to be up in 5 hours for our train ride to Marsailles so we left the club, sadly just as “Banquet” by Bloc Party started to play. We got the night bus and got back just in time for a nice 3 hour nap.

March 23^rd- We wake up early and head to the train station, only to find that there is a strike going on and we can’t figure out how to get our tickets out of the machines. Luckily we get someone to help us just in time to jump on the bus and I promptly passed out for about half of the train ride, in between doing reading for class (which I should be doing as I write this, but oh the glory of sparknotes and having only one class tomorrow). We arrived in Marsailles and were greeted by Shanna, Wish’s friend from middle school. We took the bus to Aix-en-Provence, dropped our stuff in her apartment/wine cave and spent a relaxing day around the city. It was the perfect way to end the trip. We had the madness of Amsterdam at the beginning, the turbo-tourist action of Paris and then the sweet release of the south of France. We got amazing burgers and beer for lunch, I had the first ice coffee I’ve had since I got to Europe, and we walked around the adorable town before heading back to chill with Shanna. We also bought henna dye, and Wish was brave enough to step up to the job of trying to smooth that paste through the thick forest of my hair. But it worked, and now in the sunshine I have an auburn halo. We relaxed and then the four of us went to another fondue dinner. I have to say I’ve been enjoying fondue more and more. You can’t help but be social with that dinner. Everyone is stabbing things on each others plates, and your mouth is dripping with cheese or chocolate and you’re messy and laughing and it’s just wonderful. The rest of the gang went out that night, but I was just too exhausted, so I climbed into bed after reading a bit and drifted off into the most peaceful sleep I’d had that whole trip (probably due to the fact that I actually had a pillow).

March 24^th- I wake up with the other two in bed around noon, and we’re all very happy for having finally been able to sleep in that late. We got breakfast, mine in the form of a sugar crepe, and took the bus into Marsailles. Our goal was to get Tim skinny, hipster, eurotrash pants, and boy did we succeed. Europe does funny things to a persons fashion sense. Things that were hideous two months ago now are things I would wear. I have skinny jeans, and a sweatshirt with skull and crossbones all over it, and now Tim has black pants that make him look like a Mod. It’s fantastic. I only hope our friends won’t kill us when we get back to the states. But we got lunch and coffee on the marina and looked out at the boats in the sun, and took the bus back. We ran into one of Shanna’s friends who joined us for a dinner of Brie, baguette, saucisson, orange juice and chocolate chip bread. Then we headed out. First stop was to try to get lavender crème brulee at a restaurant in the town, but they refused to serve us just dessert, so we had to leave. Too bad, because I really wanted to try lavender crème brulee. But we ended up at a hookah bar and it reminded me of home. I got caramel vanilla tea and sat on pillows with two French men, Sasho and Pierre, and talked about French and American stereotypes, politics and language while passing around an apple hookah. It’s good to hear that most people know the fat American stereotype isn’t really true, but kind of disheartening to hear that they think there’s still a lot of support for Bush. I had to explain that his approval rating is at it’s lowest and even when we was reelected, it was really because Kerry wasn’t a strong candidate and it was a really close election. They wanted to know if Americans still thought Paris was a romantic and dreamy city, and what American girls thought of French men. They admitted to thinking American girls were easy, but only in comparison to French women, who are often completely cold and bitchy. They think the French system of learning languages is crap because they don’t start learning English until they are older, so lots of French people are bad at English, though you wouldn’t know from listening to them. Sasho also wants to go to New York, and his dream is seeing Mariah Carey perform at Madison Square Garden. It was nice also to sit and listen to people speak French and still be able to understand them. I could follow along with every conversation in French, I just had to respond in English. Late into the night we realized that we had to set the clocks forward and hour, so it was 1:30 and we had to be up at 4.

March 25^th- We wake up at 4, take a cab to the airport, and end up meeting this really cool kid Steve on line. He’s from Chicago and studying at Loyola in Rome. We talk with him while waiting to board and a bit on the plane in between sleeping, and exchange numbers with promises to meet up at one of the expat bars around here soon. And then it was just a shuttle to a busride home (with some of the most annoying british tourists I’ve ever heard. Seriously, loud American stereotype? I wonder if it’s the same for the brits, because I wanted to punch them in the face). Home, sleep for 6 hours, woke up at 3 to oatmeal and tea, got groceries, went to school for about an hour before they kicked us off the internet, and then made pancakes with real maple syrup and a huge bacon and cheese omlette for dinner. Sure I have a midterm tomorrow, and a presentation Wednesday, and a paper due at some point, but I have time and a laptop and am good at time management. And now on Friday Wish’s mom is coming, and Chester is coming in a few weeks, and a trip to Sicily to book and traveling with Shoshana to plan.

I feel kind of spoiled writing this. Here I am, hopping around Europe, comparing Amsterdam trips with my neighbors and hearing about how drunk friends got in Scotland and asking about which hostels are good in Spain, and all the while thinking it’s completely normal. Really, who gets to do stuff like this? We came back today and I was relieved to recognize the language and the streets and realized that somewhere along the line Rome became home. We have our apartment and piazza and friends and routines here. This was the first time I felt like I’m going to miss it when I leave. Before I was thinking maybe I’d book an earlier flight home because I’d be so homesick by the time May rolled around that I wouldn’t have it in me to keep traveling. But now I realize there’s so much more to see that I won’t be able to, and that I wouldn’t even have been able to if I stayed a year. I’m doing the Europe trip, hitting Germany and Belgium and Ireland later on, but I want to see more. I need to see eastern Europe, to go to Vienna and Budapest and Croatia. I want to go north to Sweden and Scotland and Russia. I want to see Greece and Turkey, and explore around northern Africa. And this is just one continent really. I haven’t even been to South America. I need to go back to India to get a better sense of it than I did when I was 13. I want to see the Philippines and New Zealand and everywhere. I even want to go trekking in zodiac boats into Antarctica like my grandparents did. But hey, I’m 20, this is what life is for. I’m just glad I started living it as early as I did.

And in case you were wondering, this is what my travel path looks like so far:

Now Playing: “Guess I’m Doing Fine” by Beck

"Mitchell isn't a joke! He's an accurate passer with confidence issues!"

2007-03-14T06:00:00.000-04:00

Yesterday before politics class this one kid from South Carolina and I watched all these videos of the best USC plays of the last two/three years (ok sidenote, I've started saying twotree a lot when refering to that number. When did I get a wisconsin accent?). It was just fun. I miss sports like that. I need to get my ass to a soccer game.

Anyway, iTunes is coming back slowly, but I need your help. This is a list, off the top of my head, of the stuff I'm missing. Yes, off the top of my head. This is as much as I can think that I'm missing. If you have it and you're IMing with me, send it please?

Talking Heads
Motion City Soundtrack
Death Cab for Cutie
The Decemberists
Les Savy Fav
Green Day- American Idiot, Shenanigans, Bullet in a Bible
Blink 182- Cheshire Cat, Dude Ranch, TOYPAJ, Self-titled, live album
Less Than Jake
Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Ryan Adams/Whiskeytown
Journey
The Postal Service
The Zutons
5 Cent Deposit
Angels and Airwaves
Transplants
Bad Religion
Beatles
Beastie Boys
Pixies
Bloc Party
Springsteen
Dave Matthews
Robert Randolph & the Family Band
Fall Out Boy
Joni Mitchell
Miles Davis
Thelonious Monk
Jason Mraz
John Mayer
Fiona Apple- Extraordinary Machine
Outkast
The Police
Reel Big Fish
Snow Patrol
Sufjan Stevens
Taking Back Sunday
The Who
Wilco
Say Anything
The Clash- self titled, Sandanista, combat rock
Descendents
The Stooges/ Iggy Pop
The Offspring- smash, ixnay on the hombre
Radiohead- Kid A, Insomniac, OK computer
Norah Jones
Beck- Guero, Odelay, Midnight Vultures
Franz Ferdinand
Incubus- ACLOM, S.C.I.E.N.C.E
Foo Fighters
Kanye West
Madeleine Peyroux
Modest Mouse
Pink Floyd
The Shins
Weezer- pinkerton, maladroit, make believe
Elvis Costello
Johnny Cash
Goldfinger
NIN
Monty python
Treephort
Me first and the gimme gimmes
Nofx
Regina Spektor
Freshman Fifteen (Rie?)
Frank Sinatra
AC/DC
Ramones
Lou Reed

Looking at this list I think explains a lot about me.

Now Playing: "She's Electric" by Oasis

4,3,2,1

2007-03-12T07:59:00.000-04:00

Countdown until spring break. One of my classes is cancelled for the week so this is just bullshit until Friday morning when I get on a plane with Wish and Tim for Amsterdam. We have friends to stay with everywhere we're going so no paying for hostels. And there have already been requests for stoned phone calls from Amsterdam. Hopefully I won't die. I missed having a laptop. I missed being able to turn on music in the morning while I'm making coffee and breakfast. I missed looking through photos and being able to work on papers on my own time. I missed IMing with friends.

Last night we made Betty Crocker brownies and eggplant parm. Yay American food. We went to the international store and stocked up on everything important. Bisquik and real maple syrup, salsa, black beans, mayo, mustard, tabasco, top ramen, peanut butter and tea. It's so weird the things you miss while you're abroad. I'm sure when I get home I'll be craving prosciutto and cappucino and the pizza they have here. But then I'll get New York pizza and bagels and sushi and everything will be glorious.

It's sunny, I'm sitting outside with my computer. No clouds and I'm not cold. And I walked on cobblestone streets and under clotheslines to get here. A girl could get used to this.

Now Playing: "An Open Letter to Neil Armstrong" by Mike McGee (quite possibly the most romantic poem I've ever heard)

This is why I have Wish

2007-03-09T12:06:00.000-05:00

Oh God so beautiful.

Now Playing: "The Runaways" by Anberlin (because I have a laptop now and am rebuilding my music collection!)

Love

2007-03-08T04:22:00.000-05:00

I didn't sleep well last night. I went to bed again about 2 hours after turning out the lights, and our neighbors kept coming in and out (they have about 7 people staying in their tiny apartment this week) and they were partying and it was just bad. Once I turned over and my clock said it was 6am, and I had maybe gotten two hours of sleep. Then Wish woke up at 8, then someone called my phone at 9. I gave up sleeping and went to make coffee and take a shower, when I find this note:

"Jaya!
Morning cutie. hope sleeping like the dead rocked your underworld. The coffee maker is set up so alls ya gotta do is light, balance and pray. See you later
<3, Me"

When your roommate will set up the coffee machine for you in the morning, that's love.

Insomnia strikes again

2007-03-07T08:47:00.000-05:00

For the past few nights I haven't been able to fall asleep for at least two hours after the lights go out, and then am dead to the world when I actually sleep. It leads to some weird dreams. Going to college in some grassy field and getting picked up from classes by a yellow schoolbus. Rie and I becoming models for LK's fashion line. And generally just weird thoughts about life that I'd rather not think and it's making me cranky. That and midterms.

But a priest came and blessed our house for easter, because apparently that's what they do here. Just leave a note on your door saying when the local priest is gonna come by and sprinkle water on everything and say a prayer. My mom told me to be respectful. I was in class at the time, but I'm sure I would have been.

So four day weekend, probably involving going on a photo tour with Wish and playing guitar in the piazza. I was planning on doing that earlier this week, but midterms came and killed me, and now it's raining again. But if I don't do it this weekend then you can just shoot me because I have no excuse not to.

My mom said that she might be coming to visit at some point. Either in Rome or while I'm travelling afterwards, which would be amazing. I really miss her, and everyone elses parents are visiting so dammit why can't mine?

I think Rome is making me become kind of more of an adult, but kind of not. I have my own apartment, make dinner almost every night and go for afternoon pints at pubs around here. I've applied for an internship over the summer (paid thank god) and friends of mine are applying to grad school, or are graduating, or have graduated and now have real jobs, and it's not as weird to think about as it once was. But then again, I'm paying for everything here with my parents money. And I hate it. I literally cringe (Wish saw me and laughed at it) when I write my parents for more cash. I had saved up a lot but it's fucking expensive to be self sufficient. Hopefully I'll be making money this summer and can pay them back a bit or at least just have them not have to fund me.

Ok that's all for now. More coherent thoughts to come when midterms are over and I've recovered from my post-midterm binge.

"Great, now every time I drink a Cappucino I'm going to think of this. Thanks, Jaya!"

2007-03-04T09:06:00.000-05:00

So Liz was here this weekend, and it was awesome, and we went around the city and had fried artichokes in the jewish ghetto and stuck our hands in the bocca della verità and most importantly saw these guys:

Cool right? Capuchin monks, lived in poverty (not even allowed to touch money), and then the pope's brother had all their bones moved to this crypt in 1631 where they were arranged along the walls in really really pretty designs. And then had some where the skin was still on their faces. Or would have bones forming crosses and disembodied arms just hanging on the walls. We started to wonder who was the designer for this, because they had to have a few people trying out designs. Like one guy coming in with a bunch of bones glued together going "look, I made a bunny" and then "No, Frank, that's not exactly the look we were going for" and then poor Frank the monk going back and trying all over again to make something cool with the bones. Poor Frank, no one ever listens to him.

Then last night we went out with Bank (the fire performer around here), his wife Simona, and these two Italian punk kids who we later found out were just 17 but were really impressed that we knew all the punk bands they were talking about ("You from America? You know the Circle Jerks? Alright!") And then this really rich 23 year old italian asian guy came over, started talking with Bank, and then eventually picked up the tab for a whole table. So more free drinks. Horray. We got home around 3, and unfortunately Liz slept through her alarm and missed her flight, but went to the airport and I'm hoping the next time I hear from her it's saying that she got to Paris ok.

This week is midterms, which I'm nervous about because my classes are crap. I know that doesn't sound like it makes sense, but the professors are so vague and everything is so easy that it doesn't seem like I can even be tested on anything. I don't see how I could compare the interwar development of France and Germany because we never talked about anything like that. Hopefully my GPA won't suffer so much. But even if so, whatever, I'm learning more just living here and travelling around than I ever would in English class. And if anything my Politics class gives me an excuse to say "Benelux" more, and that's always fun.

A funny thing happened at the forum...

2007-03-02T13:52:00.000-05:00

I stole that from Matt, so just know that I'm not actually that cheesy, I just appreciate it to the point where I'll make it a blog title.

Anyway, so I was in the forum for class, and there was a group of about 40 high school girls on a class trip. As we were walking through, two of them started yelling at each other, and one started crying, and ran off with a group of about 10 others, yelling and giving the finger back to the other girls. I have no idea where their teachers were or anything. We tried to pay attention to our professor telling us about the Temple of the Divine Caesar but it just didn't work, as one of the crying girls ran up behind her with her group and just stood there sobbing and yelling. And then her group started throwing rocks at the others. And then the others started throwing rocks back. And then the ones who started it got chased down by the Carabinieri. As we walked out we saw about 8 girls in the back of 2 cop cars, looking very upset.

The End.

Now Playing: Some Italian pop from the other room.

Happy

2007-02-28T05:34:00.000-05:00

Last night after Liz made us dinner and eating way too much egg-shaped nutella cake, Wish and I came home exhausted, watched the rest of Boondock Saints, and climbed into bed. As usually happens when the lights go out we started talking. This time it was about our camp experiences, and naturally I first turned to Bucks Rock and how many good friends I found there and all the fun summers. But then I remembered that wasn't my first camp experience. Before that I went to Campus Kids, a sleepaway camp where you came home on the weekends. I was 10 and went with my best friend at the time, Kelly. Well, first night at camp Kelly got a really bad asthma attack and had to be sent to the hospital. She was fine but didn't stay for the rest of the summer, so I was there alone, without my parents, trying to make new friends.

For those of you who didn't know me at the time, I was probably the most awkward 10 year old in the world. Frizzy hair, crooked teeth, trying to hone in on a more alternative fashion that I'd always been attracted to but mainly just clueless about, and I was shy as hell. It was bad. Nevertheless I became friends with girls in my bunk who I thought were way cooler than me. Things were fine but looking back they were basically full of shit. One girl had a Pulp Fiction poster on her wall and thought I was weird because I'd never seen it. Another cursed like a sailor (the way I do now) and talked about sex nonstop when I clearly wasn't getting any of it. The month went on like that until the last night, when we all decided to bring our sleeping bags into one room and have a slumber party.

My sleeping bag was close to the door, and towards the end of the night I started getting tired. A few other girls had fallen asleep, so I said I was going to bed, turned so my back was towards them, and tried to fall asleep. This was probably the moment when I started hating girls. Thinking I was asleep, they started trash talking me. First saying how funny it was that I thought I was cool but really wasn't, then about how weird I looked, and on and on for a couple minutes until I got up and without saying anything dragged my sleeping back back to my room and slept in there alone. The next morning packing up none of them would look at me.

And now, years after that and middle school and hearing more trash talk about myself, I'm really happy. I have awesome friends who accept my weirdness and I've learned how to control my hair and I'm spending my time in some of the most amazing cities in the world. I'm not as shy anymore (though I definitely have my moments) and life is just good. I think I realized this yesterday as I was walking down the street and just caught myself smiling. I don't know what was making me smile, I was just happy. And after the madness that was winter break, it's nice to feel overwhelmingly happy again.

Yeah, sappy, I know but I needed to get it out. The only damper to it right now is that it's drizzling and I have to go walk around for 3 hours taking notes on the forum, which in itself is cool, but not in the rain.

"I just ate a fish in its own defense mechanism"

2007-02-25T12:21:00.000-05:00

Actually, I ate this, in a black ink sauce, and it was amazing.

Venice was beautiful. We walked out of the train station and immediately saw water. Man I missed water. It was warm but overcast, and we found our hostel (down a rape alley), dropped off our stuff and walked the entire city. I'm serious, it was the entire city. If you look at a map, our hostel was next to the train station, and we walked down to San Marco and back, with lots of wandering in between. Venice is quite a confusing city. They tried to number it on an Austrian system, but no one really knows how it works, so we just kind of went "ooh that looks familiar!" and found our way places. We also did lots of shopping, especially for gifts for friends. Wish and I realized we spoil our friends way too much, but it's totally worth it. I figure if I miss my friends and see something I know they'd love, why not splurge on the people who mean something to me?

So 2nd day we woke up, went to Murano (island where they make the glass), watched a glass blowing demonstration, bought stuff, came back, wandered around and hunted for the perfect mardi gras masks. We found them. We met the guy who handmade, dyed, and stamped all the leather and the masks are so beautiful! We also got fun, cheap sparkly ones, and wore them this morning as we sat on the steps of the train station, looking out onto the canal and drinking Bellini's.

And ok, tiramisu, I am so spoiled. I'll never be able to eat it again because it simply won't be as good. Neither will risotto.

So now Liz is here for the week, and that'll be amazing. I'm not looking forward to midterms next week, or my 8 page paper, but after that spring break comes, which should be amazing.

Also, Wish and I might be taking Gladiator lessons. More to come on that one.

Now Playing: "My Goddess" by The Exies

"Oh shit, I DID drink that 3rd 40!"

2007-02-21T10:32:00.000-05:00

First things first:

papayajaya1: i apologize for any and everything i said last night
papayajaya1: mainly because i dont remember what half of it was, and i'm sure it was embarassing
lub189: no, it was pretty amazing
papayajaya1: what did i do?
lub189: nothing in particular
lub189: except for the fact that you told me you couldn't operate a phone

I make no sense, but I crossed the boundary of making ridiculous drunk dials from another country. So last night, mardi gras, Wish and I weren't going to let it go by without a good party. Four 40's of Peroni and a bottle of peach vodka later, we were having ourselves a good time. We did crazy glittery makeup and blasted brass band music and kept up the new orleans tradition of getting wasted for around 5 bucks. Oh, and we ate king cake. Horray.

Mardi Gras made me kind of homesick again. I keep seeing pictures of everyone else going to the parades, and I haven't been able to talk to many people because they're all busy vacationing and partying, and I just wish I could be there experiencing it instead of waiting for e-mails or pictures. Granted I've been having my own stories. And Liz is coming next week so that should be great. But sometimes I just wish I could have pancakes or watch TV or have a mardi gras celebration and have it not be an event or party, but an everyday normal thing. And sometimes I wish I had more people. I love Rome, I just want all my friends to be here with me.

Oh fuck that, I'm going to go drink good wine and eat good mozzarella and life will be grand again.

Now Playing: "Jolene" by Cake (thank you Wish's iPod)

All roads lead to the Duomo

2007-02-18T11:09:00.000-05:00

We went to Florence this weekend. Friday night Wish and I decided that Venice was too expensive, but we might as well go somewhere, so we booked a hostel online and the next morning we were off on a train from Termini. It was beautiful. The train ride took us through Tuscany and we arrived in Florence around 4 in the afternoon with clear skies and good weather. We followed the shitty directions to find our hostel, a really weird place with a creepy Italian guy who worked there and didn't understand why our Italian wasn't great, even though I spoke to him in Italian saying I was learning it but I forgot a lot. And then he would randomly come into the room to get stuff and just creeped us out. We didn't spend much time in there. So we went out, and of course first thing climbed the 463 steps to the top of the Duomo. Exhausted, but amused as to seeing people who had written "Iron Maiden" on the walls on the walk up, we watched the sun set over the city. Then we finally got in touch with Mego and had drinks with her after downing a bottle between us at dinner (where I had veal and wild boar...awesome). Seeing Mego again was so much fun, and though we had to leave early because we were both exhausted, it was a great night.

Next day we went to the Uffizi gallery and the Academica museum, where there was also a museum of musical instruments that we beelined too. Beautiful stuff. We spent the day wandering and always finding our way back to the Duomo, because Florence is really small. Then we met up with Megan and also Julia! I haven't seen Julia in ages, but that was so cool. And we went to this really offensive restaurant called the House of Sizzle, because we were all craving American food and it had pictures of Indian Chiefs on the walls and was just ridiculous. We got chocolate milkshakes (very good), mozzarella sticks (more like mozzarella patties in a beer batter) and "Louisiana Wings" (good but it tasted like they were in some sort of spicy teriyaki sauce...and then blue cheese). Eventually we just hung out at Julias apartment and had a good time. Woke up at 9am, booked it out of the hostel, got back around 11:30, and woke up at 3pm where Wish and I proceeded to have this conversation.

Jaya: Morning!
Wish: Hey, morning, whats up?
Jaya: I just had another really weird dream.
Wish: Really?
Jaya: Yeah, so ok, you and I were living in this kind of middle of nowhere rural town. And one day I run into you and you're talking to Jason Mraz.
Wish: What?
Jaya: Yeah, so you're talking to him. And then all of a sudden John Mayer comes and we start talking. And then I tell him about my mom interviewing him, but he thinks I'm hitting on him, so then he starts making out with me. So I'm hooking up with John Mayer, but then like, these robots come. And they eat people.
Wish: So they're more like zombies?
Jaya: Yeah, zombie robots. So they like, eat everyone in the town except for me and John Mayer. But then he dresses up like a robot to pretend that he did get eaten. And I guess I do too. And he gets a job as a waiter in this diner. And ok, so the robots only eat eggs--
Wish: --and humans.
Jaya: Only when they're conquesting. When they're normal they just eat eggs. So John Mayer always orders eggs, but also bread and coffee, and the robots think it's weird but he says it's just so the tourist humans don't feel bad. Because there are still humans in the world, it was apparently just our town that got taken over, and humans still come to the diner. So one day, John Mayer's family comes and is like "we're gonna get you out of here" and so they take us with them to Las Vegas or something. And then I run into Matt Cadigan.
Wish: Who's Matt Cadigan again?
Jaya: Hostel Matt.
Wish: Oh right, I forgot his last name.
Jaya: Yeah, so I run into him, in this Vegas type place, and we start hanging out. And then one night we start kissing. And then I'm living in this hotel with John Mayer and I go to the pool and my bathing suit keeps falling off, and all these business executives are staring at me and making cat calls, and apparently I have to take a train to class two hours away, so I'm like "I have to go to class, stop looking at me, I don't know why my bathing suit keeps falling off cause this is a dream and I can't control it." And I leave and my nipples keep popping out. It was weird. So yeah, robot zombies.
Wish: How did you get even weirder?
Jaya: I have no idea.

Fin.

P.S. I want a bionic eye

"We need to make mistakes more often"

2007-02-15T08:15:00.000-05:00

So last night continued to be a success
4 bottles of wine, 4 people, chocolate covered strawberries, botched chocolate sauce turned candy, chicken parm, pasta, salad, bean dip, and did I mention all the wine?
I have a group here, which is weird to think about
I looked damn good in those 3-inch heels
Wish and I have strange ideas when we're drunk
I have a politics quiz in an hour and a half and I have no idea what the professor wants me to know
I'll have to go on luck
I realized a few days ago that I try to predict my future through oreos
The only superstition I have is that I have to pull an oreo apart and ask a yes or no question before I eat it
Well, that and saying "Beam me up, Scotty" before getting on a plane
I don't know where that one came from
I hate being dissapointed in my friends
I'm trying to go to Venice this weekend but it's really expensive
Mego needs to get her phone to work so I can have somewhere to stay in Florence
I think that's all I have to say for now

Now playing: "Come Closer" by NIN/The Beatles (I've been getting really into this whole mashup thing)